What do you call the cow that just had her calf?
De-Calf-inated!!!
Sorry..old joke
A few weeks ago I was literally sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office pouring a Crystal Light Energy into a bottle of water when my sister Nancy called me and asked me if I had heard the news. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints officially clarified that the Word of Wisdom, found in the 89th Section of the Doctrine and Covenants, did not include caffeinated soft drinks.
HA....
You see, I never believed that it did...
I come from a pretty serious caffeinated soft drink world. My father, the late beloved patriarch and Bishop was a serious Diet Pepsi drinker. To this day, we find crumpled Diet Pepsi cans around the ranch stashed in tree trunks and other unique places, and they always make us pause, smile and even tear up a little.
Revisionist history members of my family will claim that this isn't true, but I know that it is, at one point or another in all of their lives everyone of my grandparents drank coffee, and one of my Uncle John's favorite stories about him and my father involved the "re-use" of coffee grounds on a camping trip. There was a time in the history of the church when drinking coffee wasn't nearly the taboo it is now. Listen, I'm not saying they were right, but it shows that we really should put a few things into perspective.
I have an aunt that used to say, "I'll worry about drinking a Coke, when they stop serving chocolate cake in the temple". (For those of you who only frequent more modern temples, there are a few with very yummy cafeterias in their basements) Well, that is true, while the levels vary and there is a similar additional compound in cocoa, all cocoa does include caffeine. I actually had a woman in the church try to argue this with me one time, and all I could do was laugh, and think..."Are you seriously that desperate?"
I have always tried to look at the Word of Wisdom as exactly what it says, I'm pretty sure the Lord knew in 1833 what caffeine was since He is a pretty good chemist, and He made it a natural ingredient in lot of foods. Furthermore if the Lord said, "Don't wear orange shirts" I wouldn't wear an orange shirt. I would not argue over whether I could wear a pink-ish orange shirt, or if I could wear an orange sweater, or if I could wear orange for special occasions. I just wouldn't wear orange, and I wouldn't wonder if it was because no one really looks good in orange or if it was because the Lord was afraid bees would come after you if you were wearing orange...I just wouldn't wear orange!
A couple months ago in Relief Society (I wasn't there) apparently there was a long discussion over herbal teas vs. black teas. Now, I will admit to seeing Celestial Seasonings herbal teas in the cafeteria in the Washington D.C. Temple many, many years ago. But to me that is a serious grey area, and since I already have enough grey areas in my life I am not going to purposely add one more.
Now, back to my original thought.....HA, I can to have a Coke..you know, if I still drank pop. So, there all you self righteous, I'll give you their real meaning that the Lord didn't give the Prophet while I eat my chocolate brownie hypocrites, I can feel just fine giving my children their morning jolt of Mountain Dew.
1 comment:
I cook with alcohol and frequent one of those strict liquor law places as mentioned. There was an employee that used to say, "there's the chef that doesn't drink" when I would walk in. We had a friendly relationship. He taught me the crucial differences between light and dark rum, port wines and which liquors to invest in. No autoclave needed.
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