Tiger Mom???

This week I read a story about the “Tiger Mom” being back and having a new book.  She poses some interesting new theories in it, not sure I believe in how she relates successful individuals with specific cultures or religions, but I went back to her earlier book about how to raise children and began to question if I had been very much of a Tiger mom.

 

I didn’t encourage play dates when my children were little.  Mostly, because I wasn’t very social and never really fit into the “soccer mom” world of taking little Suzie home with us.  That made me very uncomfortable.  I did for awhile try to get Emily to take a variety of classes, hula dancing, gymnastics, archery, judo…turns out that just wasn’t our family type either.  I made Erik do Cub Scouts, and eventually he came to hate it because it required so much of our time for other boys that he didn’t get any time with us. Erik did football and after the first practice wanted to quit…that wasn’t an option, so he stuck out the entire season (with a Mormon hating coach) and now wants nothing to do with sports.

 

I haven’t allowed my children free range in the video world or TV either, although sci-fi is somewhat exempt thanks to the genetic structure donated from their father.  Despite my rather violent nature we don’t have any Call of Duty or Soldier of  Fortune type games for either our Xbox or Wii. Unlimited internet is also a privilege that hasn’t always been allowed and neither child currently has a phone with a data plan.  I have only allowed Emily to spend the night at 2 homes in her 18 years, and Erik has never slept over at anyone else’s home. 

 

Both of my children know that homework is absolutely first when they walk in the door.  It was never an option to put it off, my butt became flat from sitting at the dining room table going over spelling words, math homework, and encouraging creative writing in a boy that now actually likes it. While my grade expectations have been a little different from Emily to Erik, Emily had a “come to resurrection morning meeting” when she was in 10^th grade and started getting a little sloppy, she hasn’t been since. Erik was always required to show he was progressing and that is now paying off in his grades as well.

 

I am extremely blunt with both of my children.  The other day while I was telling Emily goodbye her RA heard me tell her, “Study hard, be good, no drunken orgies, and don’t get any communicable diseases” the RA burst out laughing. “I can’t believe you just said that” she told me. Well, it needed to be said, didn’t it? I have always let my children know the honest answer to any question they ask me, even if it’s somewhat uncomfortable. Or if it made my Mother or sister uncomfortable while I was answering it.

 

Do I have all the answers??? Oh hell no, but I don’t think the Tiger Mom does either. I know I’m stricter than a lot of parents, but I’m also not as strict as some. Good luck to any parent who thinks a one size fits all!