Invisible People

My niece Kassandra is one of the invisible people.  You might be wondering what that is exactly.  As many people know that Kassandra was born with a significant amount of birth trauma, as a result, she has Cerebral Palsy.  What does that mean? It means that she has trouble walking and has a limited cognitive ability.  However, it doesn’t mean she is stupid…never, never make that mistake! She has trouble articulating sometimes and her perceptions are definitely unique.  Kassandra doesn’t necessarily understand social convention, so sometimes when people talk to her, she either won’t respond or she gets nervous and acts a little rude.
So why do I call her one of the invisible people? Because she is invisible to most people.  You have seen them, I have seen them…a group of special needs people, or an individual out in public - on a field trip at the grocery store, the library or the museum.  People don’t quite know how to react to them, so they just pretend the special people aren’t there. “Normal people” walk down another aisle, start a conversation with someone they are with, or pretend to be busy with something else, until the special people and their “handlers” have moved on.

Don’t feel bad, I used to be just like that.  Special people make us feel uncomfortable, we don’t know how to talk to them and are afraid of hurting their feeling.  Sometimes we are unsure if they will understand anything we want to say, and we don’t want to appear rude or worse cause some sort of scene. I totally understand those feelings, and so do members of my family.  We used to be just like you. Our family was untouched by special needs for many years, but Kassandra changed all that.  In fact, we didn’t even know you called them special needs, we had other names---  Times change, and so do medical miracles.  The ability of modern medicine to save even the smallest baby or to bring back a newborn who was without oxygen for 7 minutes is amazing, but with those modern miracles come more and more children surviving with special needs…and society better start getting ready to deal with these unique people, and probably so should you.

So I’ve been thinking about things that should put you at ease when you approach someone who is obviously special-

 

Look them directly in the eyes, don’t worry, they are in there.

Smile – it’s pretty universal

Say Hello, even if they can’t respond, they know what it means.

Don’t be surprised if they want to touch – mostly they usually want a hug, if you aren’t comfortable with that, just take a step back. They usually get the idea.

 

If you have someone in your neighborhood, church or social circle, it’s ok to ask questions. Trust me, we would rather answer 10 questions, than have you make one assumption. But what ever you do, please don’t pretend they are invisible – because they know