Things I Learned at My Mother's Knee

(Note to Harriet: Read the whole post before you get mad, ok?)

A couple Sundays ago Cheryl Condit gave a Relief Society lesson about teaching our children.  It was a very nice lesson, and since I love Cheryl, I even participated a little. The sisters were all giving examples of their mothers setting them down and teaching them some great gospel principle or patiently showing them how to do something domestic and of course the perfect ones were giving examples of their own handiwork. Harriet, Nancy, Fern and Shirley were all absent, so I sat alone in our back row spot. (Oh everyone has their designated seating, you know it's true)

When I got home, Nancy was quizzing me about the lesson, after I told her about it and some of the comments made by the other ladies in our ward, we talked about teaching our own children. Thanks to this blog I regularly share my not so picture perfect parenting experiences. Obviously, the more you attempt to make the perfect setting, the more it never seems to turn out like the Hallmark channel. So as the conversation progressed we started talking about our own childhood experiences.

Now my mother wasn't exactly the patient, let me gently show you how to do something kind of Mom. Nor was she the "sit at my knee while I expound bible stories" type either. I remember when I wanted to help in the kitchen and some of her most quoted sayings were "watching is helping" and "would you just get out of my way". While growing up I didn't know how to cook, as evidenced by my frantically calling Aunt Lois and asking "Does scald the milk mean burn it?". I remember Mom insisting that I take sewing and cooking in 4H, but after my third attempt of putting in a zipper, she just did it (I got a blue ribbon on that by the way). Anyway, so Nancy and I started to ask each other about what did we remember from our early learning...and then it got quiet...and we stared at each other. "Do you remember Mom showing you how to cook?" "No, I learned in HomeEc, did she teach you how to sew?" "No, Mrs. Nostrand did that in 4H, did she show you how to clean?" "No...what did she teach us?"  So we wondered...and then I had to go home, because it was late.

The next day I did remember one time when I was about 5, in the forest behind our cabin she showed me how to make a lean-to shelter, in case I ever got stranded out in the woods. I called Nancy and told her, she was happy I remembered something. I'm not sure if she did. Later when I talked to Donna and asked her, she remembered that Mom had shown her how to vacuum the stairs and clean windows with newspaper. So then the conversations turned to what our Mother was doing the whole time we were growing up...

After turning this over and over in my mind, I determined that the things our Mom did teach us were pretty difficult to define. My sisters and I decided that our Mom taught us by example.  Growing up my Mom was busy; she herded cows, kept the books for the ranch, cooked, cleaned, farmed, gardened, wall papered, permed hair, traveled with kids, sorted cows, helped fix fence, and raise 5 daughters, including one with an extremely rare blood disease. Our Mom taught us that you basically cowboy up and shoulder on, you roll up your sleeves, get it done, and try to have a sense of humor and fun along the way. My Mother wasn't a drama queen who lounged around and whined, she didn't nag, she just did it. She took extra good care of her husband, told her daughters to "dry up" when they felt sorry for themselves, and she did teach us a lot of clever sayings, like "didn't have a pot to piss in, nor window to throw it out of".

So while I don't have picture perfect memories of defining moments of learning from my Mom, I do know that she did teach me a lot, and for that, THANKS.