I was in 4H, ok, I wasn’t just in 4H, I served on county councils, the fair board, went on exchange trips…I was really in 4H. Anyway, when I was about 16 they started up a Veterinary Technician 4H class at the Mesa College Farm, yes; they used to have one of those down on D Rd. So, still thinking that was the line of work I wanted to go into, I immediately signed up. The first class (and the only one I ever went to) was held on a cold spring Saturday morning. When I got there they went over everything we would be doing, docking some sheep tails, trimming some hooves, castrating some piglets…cool!
My experience at that time didn’t include pigs, or mountain maggots (I mean sheep). So I watched the sheep get docked, then we stepped into the pig area. They grabbed the first little pig and flipped it over on its back. Then they showed how you make a little slit between the back legs, fish out the testes, snip them off and send the little guy on his way before he ever realizes he will never sing bass. It looked so easy… “Any volunteers?” So I stepped up. Someone else held the little guy while I took the scalpel and made my little incision.
The first testi came right out, no problem. Then I tried to find the other one…and looked, and looked and looked. Everyone had helpful advice as I fished around inside that poor little piglet. No go, “keep looking” they said, so I did. Now remember this was supposed to be a quick little deal, but as I kept looking for that elusive testicle, the incision started to grow, and other things began to fall out. I was poking and prodding… there was no testicle to be found. Finally, the instructor came over and really started looking, he finally found it, up next to a kidney!! By that time there was no way that little piglet could be turned loose, so someone was dispatched to Western Implement to pick up some sutures and a needle. They stitched up that poor little guy, we called it a day, and I never went back. I have no idea if that piggy ever made it to market.
So now the world knows my secret
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