Not Even a Blip on the Radar

Oh, church, I swear...if I went for the social aspect I would have stopped so long ago. Anyway, there was a "little confusion" today on the part of Erik and another deacon passing the sacrament. A frantic whispered conversation at the front corner of the pews and the sacrament was passed pretty normally. Erik and the other boy definitely like their "spots" and neither boy is terribly adept at changing on the fly. After sacrament meeting the Young Men's president wanted to have a chat with the other Mom and I, Okie dokie. Seriously? My suggestion, maybe a little less basketball and kickball on activity night, and a little more than a diagram for the deacons. A diagram??? Dude I can give a diagram to change a Ross valve, but until you actually do it? I can even download directions for building a car...that doesn't mean I'll be driving it next week.

I digress...

As far as major church faux pauxs went, this doesn't even begin to register.

For example, I remember in the old second ward, a lady that used to have "spells" and had to be led away from leading the music in front of the children.

I remember when old Louis Puckett got up to give a 45 minute testimony (no one but my brother in law Jay ever understood Louis when he talked) but he wasn't bothering anybody. After 45 minutes he started singing "I am a Child of God" and a do-good-er visiting high council man got up and told him to sit down. Seriously, I felt bad for Louis.

When I was about 10 I was seated in the upper level of the tabernacle in the first session of General Conference. When they went to sustain President Kimball, two sections over, a bunch of people jumped up with an ERA banner and started shouting. They were quickly escorted out by security.

I know a woman who went into labor during a temple session.

Just a couple years ago a woman in my ward had a panic attack during Sacrament meeting, threw open the doors and claimed she was on fire. OK, that was pretty weird, mostly because everyone just sat there.

Then there was the sacrament talk about how we would need to stockpile guns and ammunition to defend our food storage for the coming economic hard times (I was still in high school for that one). Yeah, later that guy was arrested for selling cocaine.

Or when I was little and a young woman in the ward got up every fast Sunday to talk about how wonderful seminary was, and it turned out that she was getting "a little more" out her seminary lessons than everyone else.

Or the couple that got up in church and their talks were about the "spiritual courtship" that they had had, except that I knew she was pregnant and they had to get married.

One time, a woman in our ward used an object lesson in her sacrament meeting talk... "a can of fish eyes and assholes" and that is a direct quote.

So lets keep things a little in perspective people, it isn't like these two little deacons threw the sacrament trays at each other and started taking swings...