Agency

Oh that wonderful thing. Free agency!!! Yes, we fought for it in the war in heaven, we cling to its concept here in this mortal existence, but the truth is we really like it when everyone around us uses it the way we want them to.

On Wednesday night we had a meeting with the host teachers of Emily's exchange trip to Germany in May. They had to cover several topics, but one of those is that the legal age in Germany to drink beer is 16, and 18 for anything stronger. There will be several 18 year old boys on the trip, and most of the kids will be over 16 before they head out.  The teacher handed out several permission and release slips, exonerating him, his heirs, estate, the school, and anyone else associated with the trip for anything that might go wrong.  He then informed us that before he would accept the release/permission slips back, the parents were required to write our position on our children drinking while they were in Germany.

My first instinct was of course Emily won't drink in Germany...have you met her? My second was that I would write in no uncertain terms that alcohol was not acceptable for my child...ever!  Scott however, reminded me that our daughter was soon to graduate from high school, and it was time to let her exercise a little of what we had already been teaching her.  So, the bottom of Emily's permission slip will read as follows:

"We believe that Emily is fully capable of deciding for herself about the consumption of alcoholic beverages while on her trip to Germany. She has our full support."

That Was Easy..

I have a baby shower to go to tonight. I'm not very good at keeping Scooter up to date on my activities either. This morning I brought in a box of diapers that I bought for the shower and set them on the dryer in the back porch. Scott had just woke up and happened to come in right at the same time. He looked at the box and said, "What are those for...?". I couldn't resist, I threw my arms in the air and said "Surprise!"

He just stood there..."really?...are you serious?...really?....seriously?..." I kept at it for about 3 minutes before I told him what they were for. Then he said, "I would be happy."       Really? Because I've seen happy, and it didn't look like that.

Five Year Surgiversary

Once upon a time there was a really fat Mom, (now I can use the word fat, because it is true) anyway, she got tired of being tired, took a page from her older sister's example and had a gastric by-pass. Now five years have passed, and life is much better being able to tie my shoes without being out of breath! So in honor of those lost pounds I have interviewed myself...about...myself.

Why did you decide to have surgery?
Because I had tried all kinds of diets from Weight Watchers to Jenny Craig, I was always hungry which means I was always mean when I tried to lose weight. Restricting my calories made me extremely cranky and have terrible headaches. Knowing that many of the nerves are cut between the stomach and the brain was definitely a plus.

How much did you lose?
I lost about 120 pounds from my heaviest. I went from a size 22-24 to a 4 or 6 depending on the label.

What was the biggest change, besides your wardrobe?
I have been absolutely amazed at the mental energy I spent worrying about my weight. Once it was gone, I have been able to focus and accomplish so much.  To anyone that says their weight doesn't bother them, I applaud you, but it seriously bothered me, and the mental capacity that the weight consumed was incredible.  Also, the way people treat you. It is difficult to get many people to believe but you are treated very differently when you are fat then when you are thin. Salesclerks to mortgage people, you would be surprised.

What did you give up?
Well, I gave up pop, (or soda)...forever... coming from a six pack a day diet Pepsi drinker since I was about 12, that was pretty significant. Plus, I gave up being able to eat large quantities of sugar or carbohydrates without pretty severe consequences.  When I overeat carbs or sugar I get what they call "dumping syndrome" when the sugars get dumped really quickly into the blood stream. It feels like I am having a heart attack, I get really tired, my heart races, my nose runs, and feel really bad.

What about the people that say, "My sister's husband aunt had that surgery and she gained all the weight right back"?
Yes, you can gain the weight back, you can stretch out your stomach.  Especially if you keep trying. I weigh myself almost every day, I have about a 10# window that if I start to get to low, I eat a little more, and if I get at the top end, I eat a little less. But I have trained my body to stay at that weight pretty good.

What was the hardest?
Losing my hair, I know it sounds vain, but it was especially hard when it came out in clumps and clogged vacuums. That is mostly over now, but a thin persons hair doesn't get the same nutrients that a fat person's does.

Have you had any complications?
Uhmmm...yeah. I had trouble keeping my iron up and had to go for about 4 rounds of iron injections. That was great. I have had one blockage and numerous close calls. 

They say people that have surgery become addicts?
I heard that before I had surgery. I heard that I would become an alcoholic, a shop-a-holic, or a nympho (Scott had a vote in for that one). I did become a little more OCD, I have become an over achiever in a lot of areas of my life...dragging my family along behind me. Scott has got me to tone that down the last year or so, which has been good.

Did it take very long to lose the weight?
Actually, my weight loss was complete by mid October of that year. They say it can take up to 18 month to lose it all, but for me it went really fast. They made me promise that I would exercise 4-5 times a week, I didn't, ever. In fact I lost the weight so quickly that some of my muscle attachments didn't go back right and I had to go to a couple visits with the physical therapist to get the tendons and things all moved over.

Do you recommend surgery?
Yeah, as long as you realize that is doesn't change anything other than your wardrobe size. It doesn't fix a bad marriage, it doesn't make you have more money in the bank, it won't clean your house and mostly you won't have a perfect sit-com life just because you go from a size 24 to a size 4. I would do it again in a New York minute.

So there you have it, I think I covered everything, but honestly I will answer any question you have. Some people think I took the easy way out...well, I can assure you it is not.

The Longest January

My Mother detests January, she always has, and I suspect she always will.  At the beginning of this year Harriet had an infection, through a series of infections and a couple of medication interactions, the days of January spiraled downward.  During last week, Mom had a couple bad falls and was very confused.   So we headed back to our general practitioner.  She in turn sent us to the ER, which began a series of tests and diagnostic actions. Mom was admitted from Friday to Monday, had MRI's, EEG's, CAT scans, and everything else.  At first we thought it was a heart issue, but now the determination was a little less scary.  My Mom has had bad knees for a long time, over the years she has just adjusted, started shuffling, and not bending when she sits down.  Add a couple medication interactions, a bad January, and the downward spiral began.  She is doing better now, my sisters Nancy and Donna, and our neighbor Kathleen Clark got the house ready for a walker, among other things.  We have had visits from a home health nurse and an occupational therapist.  But, the good news is that my Mom is feeling better and has started getting around a lot more.  Hopefully with the passing of the dreaded January, she will continue to get better.  The prognosis is that will get new knees ASAP, which is a challenge because the best docs are a couple months to get into.  The doctor is re-evaluating all the tests, made some medication changes, and gave her a cortisone shot to help in the interim.

Thank you to all the family and friends who have been concerned, we have appreciated that more than you will know.

Women in Combat

Warning: This post may offend people

Full Disclosure: I have a niece currently serving in USN

Recently the pentagon released a statement regarding the policy about women serving in combat. I have to say flat out that I don't believe women should serve in about 70% of military career fields.  If you talk honestly with any man that has served in the last 30 years of the military they will admit that physical standards were lowered in the 80's to allow women to serve. The truth is that if those standards were kept in place, most of the women currently in the military wouldn't have made the cut.  Unfortunately this lowering of standards also allowed a lot of men in the military that would not have made it also, but that isn't what this post is about.

My point of view comes from a lot of experiences, for one thing I am the fifth daughter born to a rancher that didn't have any sons. I married a career military man.  I work in a career that is predominantly (around 75%) male. Finally, I am tired of pretending there aren't any emotional or physical differences between males and females.

When I was growing up, my Dad never told me I couldn't do something just because I was a girl. In fact the only thing he didn't allow me to do, was go to the Father's and Son's Outing (I still have emotional scars).  I rode all day, broke steers to the lead, drove balers, pulled calves on cold February nights and unloaded hundreds of pounds of feed. Never once did my Dad say, "No, your a girl."

My career is dominated by men, mostly because women don't have much interest in working in the field. The truth is there are a ton of mechanics, electronics, pipe fittings, and hard work.

When I married Scott his AFSC (Air Force Specialty Code) was electronics, he was working on AWACS planes in Iceland. He had some troops that he worked with that were women, they couldn't lift the toolboxes they needed to do the job.  I know that sounds like a trivial thing, but they had been trained and were receiving the same rate of pay as my husband. This was my first glimpse that maybe the battle of the sexes wasn't exactly what the feminists of the 70's promised.

Over the next 10 years I saw more examples of female incompetence, mostly because under the threat of discrimination these women were able to achieve more than their more competent counterparts.  Now, I'm not saying that every woman I came in contact with was unable to do their job, but the ugly part of the government is that quotas are a part of life there. Some career fields women can compete in and thrive, but combat is not one of them. The physical aspects alone are simply to demanding to allow 99% of the women currently serving. See, I know how the military works, they will lower the standards to allow more women to make the grade and as a result more men will be placed in danger.

Did you know for instance that now in basic training recruits are allowed to carry a red card during boot camp. In the event that a TI gets in their face, they show the red card and are allowed to get the TI to back off.  I'm sure enemy combatants will respect the red card. 

The harsh and beautiful reality is that women and men are physiologically and emotionally different.  Try as we may to make the sexes one giant homogeneous mix....we aren't.  I for one am glad, I wish we would just be honest to acknowledge the differences. Women don't belong in combat.



Precious

That's right, say it loud and say it proud!!!

I don't exactly remember when my sisters started calling me that. I do know it was sometime in college or shortly after I got married.  Although, I have noticed that at times they say the nickname with a tone that indicates that it may not be an endearment. I don't care.  The truth is I work darn hard to keep that position, and when they say it derisively at me I simply tell them their jealousy is showing.