Sunday, September 15, 2013
The Great Cricket Battle
I don't like bugs...I never took entomology because I really don't like. I took herpetology, because I don't mind lizards and I tolerate snakes (as long as I don't have to hold them). But exoskeletons and six legs are just wrong. For some reason this is a cricket year. Move a bale of hay...crickets, move anything outside - crickets, walk in my basement - crickets. They are everywhere, it's like a sea of moving black creepiness. The chickens are trained, they follow me around waiting for me to move barrels, bales, feeders or rocks so they can pounce. But there are just to many, they rotate shifts to keep us awake, and despite my vacuum efforts I think they may over run us before the first freeze. Or I may have to move.
Joys of the Job
One of the many joys about my job is "Customer Complaints". That means that all my wonderful customers have the chance to come in when they go to pay their late payments (keeping their water from being turned off) and if by chance they whine about the water, I get a lovely piece of paper to call and go out "because their water smells funny" or my favorite "there is this stuff that grows under the rim of my toilet" so not kidding.
I hate people
Last week was no exception, I got a frantic phone call from one of the ladies in the front office about an irate customer who had come in with a cup of yellow water. He screamed at her in the office, went home and ten minutes later called on the phone demanding a supervisor. When I got the phone number about 15 minutes later, he told me that he had turned on his outside hose, some sludgy yellow stuff had come out, then some yellow water and finally these little yellow pieces of stuff. To say he was obnoxious would be to put it mildly. Then I said, "Sir, by chance do you have a water softener?"...silence for about 30 seconds, "yeah, why?" Because the stuff he was describing is classic water softener rupture. "But that takes salt" he said defensively. We ended going up there, it would be hard to describe other than to say that yellow water should be the least of those peoples concern.
Which reminds me...I hate people. I know that sounds terrible but the truth of the matter is that I really do. Oh, I like them individually (ok somewhat) but as a whole - nope
By the way people - here's a little tip: The water company is only responsible for the quality of the water they deliver to your meter. What you do after that I don't care!!! I don't care if your hot water tank stinks because you don't use enough hot water to turn it over, I don't care if your in home system hasn't had a filter changed since Clinton was President, I don't care about your water softener, and I really, REALLY REALLY don't care about the mold growing on the underside of the rim of your toilet!!! Not to mention the many times I have stepped over dog poop in the living room, been unable to breath from the smoke, or asked if they could move the week old dishes in the sink so I could take a sample of the "smelly water".
Did I mention that I hate people?
I hate people
Last week was no exception, I got a frantic phone call from one of the ladies in the front office about an irate customer who had come in with a cup of yellow water. He screamed at her in the office, went home and ten minutes later called on the phone demanding a supervisor. When I got the phone number about 15 minutes later, he told me that he had turned on his outside hose, some sludgy yellow stuff had come out, then some yellow water and finally these little yellow pieces of stuff. To say he was obnoxious would be to put it mildly. Then I said, "Sir, by chance do you have a water softener?"...silence for about 30 seconds, "yeah, why?" Because the stuff he was describing is classic water softener rupture. "But that takes salt" he said defensively. We ended going up there, it would be hard to describe other than to say that yellow water should be the least of those peoples concern.
Which reminds me...I hate people. I know that sounds terrible but the truth of the matter is that I really do. Oh, I like them individually (ok somewhat) but as a whole - nope
By the way people - here's a little tip: The water company is only responsible for the quality of the water they deliver to your meter. What you do after that I don't care!!! I don't care if your hot water tank stinks because you don't use enough hot water to turn it over, I don't care if your in home system hasn't had a filter changed since Clinton was President, I don't care about your water softener, and I really, REALLY REALLY don't care about the mold growing on the underside of the rim of your toilet!!! Not to mention the many times I have stepped over dog poop in the living room, been unable to breath from the smoke, or asked if they could move the week old dishes in the sink so I could take a sample of the "smelly water".
Did I mention that I hate people?
Pumpkin Cookies and a torn up knee (an Emily story)
One thing that was stressed at the orientations for college was that your students really like getting packages in the mail. Well…who doesn’t? Anyway, Emily’s first week at school ended in her birthday, so her first package was birthday presents. The next week I sent her a package of pumpkin chocolate cookies, she got them on a Thursday, and Thursday night around 9 pm I got a call from her RA, “Ok, your daughter is on her way to the ER in an ambulance”.
Now I don’t know about you, but hearing that my little girl is 4 hours away, and heading to an unknown hospital with an unknown situation isn’t exactly conducive to a parent’s piece of mind. So I call the hospital….nope, not there, ambulance is still inbound. Call the girls cell...no answer, at this point I’m wondering if I need to jump in the car and head to Denver. Scott of course, isn’t home-(work-a-holic). Finally…about an hour later I do get hold of her. First of all WHAT HAPPENED??? Emily apparently got her package, sat down to open it, got excited to share her good fortune, jumped off the couch and…POP!!! Apparently, something gave way in her knee. She headed off in an ambulance and was awaiting the results of x-rays. I asked if there was any bones sticking out or blood pouring out – the answer was no. Then I asked if she had a ride home from the hospital, she said she had some friends that had followed her to the hospital, “Say Hi” she told them. Scott and I then heard a couple voices saying “Hey” which I then realized sounded decidedly masculine….hhmmm.
Since then, she was on crutches for about a week, has had a brace on it, and after two weeks it is finally starting to feel a little better, except that she is still having trouble bending it. I have offered to come over and take her to an orthopedist for a second opinion, and that might still need to happen. And when I talked to her earlier this week I told her it was sad that the professional hockey career was probably out…her response, “Mom, I don’t even ice skate or play hockey”. That’s my girl.
Now I don’t know about you, but hearing that my little girl is 4 hours away, and heading to an unknown hospital with an unknown situation isn’t exactly conducive to a parent’s piece of mind. So I call the hospital….nope, not there, ambulance is still inbound. Call the girls cell...no answer, at this point I’m wondering if I need to jump in the car and head to Denver. Scott of course, isn’t home-(work-a-holic). Finally…about an hour later I do get hold of her. First of all WHAT HAPPENED??? Emily apparently got her package, sat down to open it, got excited to share her good fortune, jumped off the couch and…POP!!! Apparently, something gave way in her knee. She headed off in an ambulance and was awaiting the results of x-rays. I asked if there was any bones sticking out or blood pouring out – the answer was no. Then I asked if she had a ride home from the hospital, she said she had some friends that had followed her to the hospital, “Say Hi” she told them. Scott and I then heard a couple voices saying “Hey” which I then realized sounded decidedly masculine….hhmmm.
Since then, she was on crutches for about a week, has had a brace on it, and after two weeks it is finally starting to feel a little better, except that she is still having trouble bending it. I have offered to come over and take her to an orthopedist for a second opinion, and that might still need to happen. And when I talked to her earlier this week I told her it was sad that the professional hockey career was probably out…her response, “Mom, I don’t even ice skate or play hockey”. That’s my girl.
Expert
About a month ago while we were getting ready to go somewhere the phone rang and I had the following conversation –
Phone Girl – Hello, my name is (Don’t remember) and I got your name from your friend’s blah and blah.
Me- uhhh…Ok, (thinking to myself that I recognize those names from a couple at church, but calling them friends would be a bit of a stretch)
Phone Girl – Well blah and blah are trying get a $200 discount on a water treatment system in their home, and if they can get four other people take this survey, they can get their gift certificate for their new system.
Me – uhh OK
Phone Girl – All right the first question is do you drink tap water or bottled water?
Me –Bottled
Phone Girl – May I ask if that is for taste or convenience.
Me – It’s actually because my water system has high HAA’s
Phone Girl –uhmmm…ok, so when would be a good time for us to come out and test your water?
Me – What? I thought this was a survey.
Phone Girl- Well, we have to come out and test your water so we can know what kind of system you will need.
Me – Yeah, I don’t think I need a system, can you tell me what an HAA is?
Phone Girl – Oh, I don’t actually test the water, I’m not an expert.
Me – Really? I am
Phone Girl – (little giggle) oh..in what?
Me – In Water!! (what in the world are we talking about?)
Phone Girl – You are?
Me – Yeah, been in the water business for 20 years.
Phone Girl – Ok, so when would you like to schedule a water test.
Me – I don’t think you are listening to me; I work in a water laboratory. I can test my water any day I want, I really don’t need you to come out and do a dropper test and tell me how hard my water is.
Phone Girl – Oh, I don’t test the water I just schedule the technician.
Me – OK, we are not scheduling a “technician” to come out to my home, I thought this was a survey.
Phone Girl – OK, thanks for you time
Phone Girl – Hello, my name is (Don’t remember) and I got your name from your friend’s blah and blah.
Me- uhhh…Ok, (thinking to myself that I recognize those names from a couple at church, but calling them friends would be a bit of a stretch)
Phone Girl – Well blah and blah are trying get a $200 discount on a water treatment system in their home, and if they can get four other people take this survey, they can get their gift certificate for their new system.
Me – uhh OK
Phone Girl – All right the first question is do you drink tap water or bottled water?
Me –Bottled
Phone Girl – May I ask if that is for taste or convenience.
Me – It’s actually because my water system has high HAA’s
Phone Girl –uhmmm…ok, so when would be a good time for us to come out and test your water?
Me – What? I thought this was a survey.
Phone Girl- Well, we have to come out and test your water so we can know what kind of system you will need.
Me – Yeah, I don’t think I need a system, can you tell me what an HAA is?
Phone Girl – Oh, I don’t actually test the water, I’m not an expert.
Me – Really? I am
Phone Girl – (little giggle) oh..in what?
Me – In Water!! (what in the world are we talking about?)
Phone Girl – You are?
Me – Yeah, been in the water business for 20 years.
Phone Girl – Ok, so when would you like to schedule a water test.
Me – I don’t think you are listening to me; I work in a water laboratory. I can test my water any day I want, I really don’t need you to come out and do a dropper test and tell me how hard my water is.
Phone Girl – Oh, I don’t test the water I just schedule the technician.
Me – OK, we are not scheduling a “technician” to come out to my home, I thought this was a survey.
Phone Girl – OK, thanks for you time
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