Catch Up

Ok, I've been busy, but don't worry the voices have been vying for various gratitude options so here is the most recent list:

Septic systems - seriously an amazing achievement, not to mention an unsung hero when everything is working great. So easily overlooked, be grateful.

Antibiotics - so incredibly glad I didn't live 100 years ago. Can you imagine worrying over every fever and pus  weeping sore?

Aluminum Sulfate - the charge of this wonderful chemical makes my life so much easier. I am so grateful that I don't have to use ferric chloride because that stuff is nasty.

Chlorox wipes - if it weren't for this wonderful idea my house would be even dirtier than it is. I'll admit that the perfect housekeeper I am not, but thanks to these wonderful disposable wipes  - everything is just a little bit better.

I think that catches me up

November 22, Voices

I have voices in my head, and I am glad. They keep me company in long hours of laboratory work and driving that I do. I must admit though, that not all of their ideas were sound, but some have been pretty fun.

November 21, Steel Belted Radials

I am grateful for steel belted radials that allow me to travel in comfort and ease, and that I don't have to travel around with retreads. I am also grateful that they no longer make retreads.

November 20, twine

So today I am super grateful and feel extremely blessed to have twine in my life. To me twine is more than just a tie down for a large purchase from Home Depot, yes oh so much more! You see I am old enough to remember wire tied bales, which truly weighed 800lbs. I also remember the great bailing wire shortage during the Carter Administration, which forced my family away from our beloved wire tying ways. A new baler was purchased and we began to make adjustments.

In the beginning I'll admit I wasn't happy with this new "progressiveness". Wire bales packed tighter, stacked neater, didn't slip their wires, and of course- bailing wire was the original "duct tape fix". But, as time has marched on and I have become wiser and certainly more "mature" (that's a fancy way of saying I can now only shoulder one 50# bag of feed, I used to be able to handle two). Anyway I have learned to accept the lighter bales, learned the art of fixing things with orange twine, and discovered its flammability. And the one true plus for my husband is there is no wire to get wrapped around his beloved riding lawn mower which occasionally has led him to question his choice of eternal companions.

#gratefulfortwine #makeslifegreat #soblessed

November 19, Toilet Paper

Please do not get today's post confused with my earlier month of gratitude post about Kleenex. Toilet paper and Kleenex are very different, and while in a pinch can be substituted for each other, this should never be a long term solution.

Who hasn't sat down, got comfortable to take care of things and suddenly realized you had chosen poorly in your pick of the stalls? Your next thought is then "what the hell? Doesn't anyone ever check these things? There is a stupid checklist on the door for Pete's sake!" at that point you are willing to do a lot of things, just for a few squares of toilet paper. And so I'll send this gratitude post out into the world of "carma" or whatever in hopes that the "toilet paper pixies" will make sure my stalls are full as I begin the Holiday Shopping Season.

November 18, Little People

Today I’m glad that little people think they are important. No I don’t mean little as in small in stature, I mean little people the way that Clark Griswolds boss meant it in Christmas Vacation. This morning I was putting my niece Kassandra on the bus, and I haven’t done that this year. Apparently there is a new bus driver a.k.a. a new “sherrif” in town.

When he came down the steps to help get her walker he said, “Who are you?” No, hello, no how are you. I felt like saying, “Oh, just some random stranger out here at 6:20 in the am that happened to see this special needs person waiting for a bus”. Idiot! So I told him I was an aunt that lived across the street and then he said, “Is someone going to be here to get her off?” Again, I felt like saying “Oh, you need someone here when you drop her off? Like the last 14 years?” Instead I simply said, “Yes, we’ll have someone here” Freaking moron…why aren’t you in an OR suite performing brain surgery????

Don’t worry everyone, no doubt he is reproducing at a much faster rate than the people reading this, so we will always have the little people.

November 17, Dumb

FYI This is my 300th post! Man I have a lot to say, imagine if I didn't control myself


Ignorance really is bliss. The other day I might have been a little bored at work, so after surfing my usual haunts I headed over to yahoo. I was amazed to see that I really don't know very much. I have never knowing listened to a Lady Gaga song, not sure I could even pick her out of a line up. I have no idea how many Kardashians there are or what they actually do. In fact the only name I did recognize was Miley Cyrus because my kids used to watch Hannah Montanna, and after reading the headline I realized that we had come a LONG way from that. I don't know that real housewives do, never watched honey whatever and I don't know 80% of the cover stories on the tabloids in the checkout lines. I watch Duck Dynasty, HGTV, a little food porn, Big Bang Theory and a whole lot of news. Since I'm not very well informed the break table is a little boring for me, even though I don't watch Dancing with the Stars and my mother continues to let me know about that and the Bachelor/Bachelorette but I really don't care. I just like being dumb.

November 16, Doors

It's Saturday so I should be doing something. Today I had planned to clean out my basement and go through some of my food storage. But then I realized my basement had a door...so I used it and then I didn't have to clean my basement.

November 15, Blog Police

I'm grateful that there are no blog police, because I honestly haven't had time/energy to remember to blog everyday.

November 14, Grocery Stores

Today I am grateful for grocery stores, eventhough I actually can't stand them. As a result of my not liking grocery stores, I avoid going...so my cupboards get really empty and there is only so much mooching my sister Nancy will put up with.  So the last couple days the cupboards were pretty empty and apparently the point where we are out of both ramen and frozen pizzas is critical mass. Last night I braced myself and went shopping, this usually involves me wandering around the store and coming home with exactly half the ingredients for any dish. Last night though, I must have done really good, or the males in my house were really starving, because putting the groceries away was like Christmas morning. They were so excited for popcorn, ramen noodles, and some ice cream it kind of made me feel bad. But, today I'm grateful for grocery stores - mostly because I rarely have to go in them.

November 13, Road Signs

Today I am totally grateful for all the road signs I have used in my life. Without them, I would have been lost more times than I care to think about. Yes, road signs have given me direction and piece of mind for many years, and I think they are definitely the unsung hero’s of the highway. What more is there to say? Who hasn’t been blessed by road signs, everyone should take a minute and observe some gratitude for the multitude of information they have provided.

November 12, Pesticides

Whomever developed them was a genius. Now I know in this organic pure world that we live in, pesticides rank right up there in public opinion with the Klu Klux Klan. But, before you think of all the “evil” chemical companies who are conspiring to kill you I would like you to take a minute and think of all the good pesticides have done for mankind. They have eliminated things like malaria from whole continents, increased yields for crop productions and helped feed an incredibly growing global population. The next time they give a report of West Nile cases, and everyone is up in arms grabbing cans of Off, remember that is a pesticide as well.

The other day on FB someone posted something about a baby food that was supposed to be from the brand of ultimate pure, earth care, whole food, dye free, sugar free, lactose free, gluten free what ever. Anyway, they claimed that in their beloved uber baby food puree was some bug larvae and were completely upset about the level of quality control. I thought, Hell Yeah!!! First of all that’s what you get without pesticides, bugs! And besides I thought all you whole food loving, organic, tree hugging, no perfume or artificial flavors people loved bugs, cause that’s what Mother Nature is made of …stinking morons, I hope you eat more bug larvae, and pay extra for it.

Time Out

I’m taking a time out on my sarcastic November gratitude blog to give a shout out for my sister Ellen’s birthday. She would have been 51 today and I miss her so much. We miss her on this side of the veil, but realize how much she suffered from a miserable disease on this side. I hope she is totally enjoying all her relatives on the other side, having a blast and feels great.

OK the other time out is about Veteran's Day. The last few years it has become the fashionable thing for anyone that learns that Scott is a veteran to automatically say, "Thank you for your service". Now my husband spent this honorable day in his garage doing just what he wanted to do. But, he gets pretty annoyed by this automatic response. To begin with, everyone currently serving in the military or that has joined in the last 40+ years signed up voluntarily...they weren't drafted and they went in knowing that they would get a paycheck and benefits. No one in the armed services is there for free. The military veteran "society" is also famous for a lot of liars, not everyone that served was in the Rangers, or the Seals, or Green Beret's. They weren't all 101st or in active combat. But unless you have an awesome security clearance you will never know the difference. There are a lot of typists, cooks, mechanics, electricians, and desk jockeys that keep the military running.

Plus, in the military life style not everyone is a flag waving patriot, I know this because remember, we were in for a long time. There were good squadrons and bad squadrons, good CO's and bad, good years and bad. And just because someone has a DD214 doesn't necessarily make them a hero. There are good guys and bad, at BTW did you know that Los Angeles gangs have infiltrated every branch of the service? Look, my husband carried a gun, he has been in a lot of places and done a lot of things he can't say. Then he cross trained and spent time fixing computers and aircraft. we are grateful for the benefits and the retirement check. But if you want to thank him for his service, mean it. It's not just a catch phrase.

November 11, 2013

Hair Gel. Today’s gratitude goes out to all those wonderful polymers that comprise a substance that is capable of giving both my sister and I spikes that last all day. Without that amazing conglomeration we would both have super boring hair. So for that, today’s gratitude definitely goes out for some serious hair gel.

November 10th

Today I was grateful for 12:00pm. Yes, that magical end of church which meant that this year’s Sacrament Meeting Primary Program was over and my sharing time for this week was too. Mostly I was grateful that during the program no one ran crying off the stage…ok mostly me. I was so happy to see that clock hit 12 that I could have cried. Instead, I went home and took a nap.

November 9th - FIRE

FIRE!!! I love fire, I like to set things on fire, I like to watch things burn, I like to back up to a fire to get warm…oh yeah, I like fire. Seriously, I have loved fire since I was a little girl and I am so thankful that Heavenly Father made this fascinating phenomena which has entertained me for hours of my life. Not to mention all the times it has helped me clean up an area, like it did today. Today I needed to burn a bunch of tramped down hay that the goats didn’t eat and a lot of Elm tree branches that they had stripped this summer. Thanks to some gasoline and a couple matches I had a super smoky fire for hours. Plus I discovered that Lola the Pig loves fire to, she went right up to the fire and stuck her nose in it, then she followed the smoke around sniffing it. I probably will end up with the only pig with emphysema. There is just something wonderfully hypnotic about watching a fire burn, so today’s gratitude post is for fire.

November 8, Eight Cows

Today I am grateful that I was an eight cow wife. Yes, it’s true, many probably don’t realize that. (BTW if you are not familiar with the eight cow wife story you should probably google it) Anyway, my husband claims I was worth even more than that, but really how many cows can an Air Force guy come up with?  So I feel bad for all those 4 or 5 cow wives out there, but it is really nice to be an eight cow wife. Many people in my village (aka ward) probably didn’t believe I was worth that, or they probably thought my Dad would have to pay a couple cows to get someone to take me as a wife.  But rest assured my husband paid eight cows and would have gladly paid more.

November....uhm what ever day it is...

OK, today I am grateful for calendars. Thanks to a sinus infection, codeine, cold medicine and a few other supplemental pharmaceutical formulations I do not even remember what day it is. However,  my phone has a calendar and given a little time I'm pretty sure I could figure out what day it is. Thanks to calendars I never have to remember what months have 30 or 31 days, that just seems like a waste of time and brain space. Especially today, as it is all I can do to remember where I am and what my name is.

November 6 - Protection

Today I am grateful that the obviously planned zombie attack on my home early this morning was thwarted by Frank, Tina, and Daisy. Apparently the three to four hours of un-interrupted barking in my back yard kept the evil monsters at bay. Were it not for their “dogged” determination my family and I could right now, be counted among the un-dead. Yes I am truly grateful for that safety net. After all, the sacrifice of several hours of sleep in the early morning is nothing compared to the willingness of those three to place themselves in the way of danger. Of course I give them the benefit of the doubt that what ever was out there that required the tag-team bark fest was something so hideous and dangerous that they had no other choice than to bark incessantly for that long. So today, I am grateful for the selflessness of those wonderful ranch dogs, whom I am sure would never spend three hours barking at something so innocuous as leaves blowing in the wind.

November 5 - It was close

Today at work as I pondered what I was grateful for, I must admit there were three things that came to mind. OK, there were actually a lot more...but obviously I spend way to much time titrating samples. Anyway, on the way home I decided what had truly blessed my life today was Scotch Tape. When I think about how in the world people managed to get along prior to the advent of scotch tape I think "What a giant pain in the neck". How did people send packages? Wrap presents? Repair homework? Dollar bills? What a horrible world that would have been.

In the interest of my gratitude I did a little homework (OK, I Googled it) and discovered that transparent adhesive tape was invented by a 3M Engineer back in the 1930's. He test marketed it to a  packaging company in Chicago that said "Put this on the market immediately!" and I am so glad they listened. Just today as I was sending Emily some cookies that I think I baked this morning I was so grateful for the scotch tape that securely sealed that package!

November Gratitude Posts

This month I noticed on FB that everyone is posting the "Gratitude Challenge" where each day they post what they are grateful for. Now, pretty much everyone knows that I'm a little bit of an emotionally challenged person. But I thought that I would post on my blog about things that I am truly grateful for. I've had a little trouble getting on my blog so I need to make up a couple days, so here we go:

November 1, 2013
Poly Vinyl Chloride - Yes! I am truly grateful for poly vinyl chloride, that unsung hero of our household plumbing. But, the invention of poly vinyl chloride has blessed us for more than just marshmallow guns and quilt racks. I love PVC for it's amazing versatility, it's ease of use and the uniformity of all the parts. Whether it's schedule 40 or schedule 60, I love it and love using it.

November 2, 2013
Kleenex, I would like the world to know how grateful I am for that beloved box of tissues that everyone takes for granted. You see Kleenex and I have been together for ever. Kleenex has been there for me in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. During all the critical moments in my life, all the long sacrament meetings, all the drippy nose times that I have needed it, Kleenex has not let me down. Even wadded up in my Mother's purse, Kleenex has always been there.

November 3, 2013
Today I was grateful for vacuum cleaners. I can't imagine taking a rug out and beating the crap out of it on a regular basis. Although if I was required to do that I would probably work out a lot of frustration. Vacuum cleaners make our world so much cleaner and easier. Who doesn't love a great vacuum?

November 4, 2013
(This should catch me up) I am grateful for pipet washers today. This wonderful invention allows me to use dozens of pipets and place them in the wash, run them to the tap and be done. If I didn't have a pipet washer I would spend hours sucking soapy water up and then attempting to rinse these tiny little glass pipets. I can't imagine lab work without them. For an illustration, please see picture below:

You Really Can't Take Us Anywhere

This Saturday I had a little dilemma, my alma mater Colorado Mesa University (aka Mesa College or Mesa State College) was playing a football game against Emily’s Colorado School of Mines, so I had a little trouble figuring out whom I wanted to cheer for. But it was an incredible Saturday, and since the game was at 1:00, I’m had to go watch. The truth of the matter is that although I went to Mesa, I never went to a football game while I was there, and haven’t been to a Mesa football game since I was a little girl because...

The Mesa vs. Dixie Football Game

Once upon a time when I was a little girl, my cousin was quarterbacking for the Dixie College Rebels. They came to Grand Junction to play Mesa and my entire family loaded up and headed in to watch the big game. Since we were obviously cheering for Dixie we sat on the west side stands at Stocker Stadium, which back then had old school wooden bleachers. There weren’t many fans for Dixie and after the game got started a group of significantly intoxicated drunks came and sat behind us on the bleachers.  They of course were booing Dixie and then they started swearing loudly every time Mesa made a mistake. My Dad finally had enough, stood up, went back and informed the drunks that he had come here with his wife and family to enjoy a football game and that he didn’t want to hear them swear again. At first the drunks were a little belligerent…until they saw all my Uncles standing on the bleachers looking back at them. Shortly after that I remember Mesa making another mistake and hearing the drunks behind us loudly say, “OH SHOOT!” my Dad turned around and gave them a thumbs up.

It turns out that my Dad wasn’t really safe to take to a lot of places.

Once, while sitting in the car outside the Orchard Mesa Market with Uncle Rodney, I innocently remarked about a boy starting up the sidewalk that had been harassing me at school. Daddy nonchalantly placed the car in drive coasted forward a little and ended up pinning the poor 4^th grader against the side of the building and lecturing him a little.

Then there was that summer when the Hell’s Angels rented the duplex at the ranch next to ours, it was the same summer my Dad put a gun rack in his back window and proudly displayed his 0.30/0.30. We never did have any trouble from those bikers.

Another time we were enjoying the spectacle of the Fruita fireworks when we heard a scuffle, wondered what it was only to have that question answered when we heard my Dad roar, “I haven’t hit you, YET!.” Turns out a drunk was picking on his girlfriend and my Dad decided he wasn’t going to let him. Daddy never did hit him, but he did tweak the guys’ nose to get his attention. We never got to go back to the Fruita fireworks…

It was a different time of course, now you get the cops called on you when you show the guy that just flipped you the middle finger the handgun you kept in the glove box (ok, it’s not like he actually pointed it at him, he just showed it to him). Or if you chase down a little sports car that the passenger flipped you off in and turn your big crew cab sideways on the road ahead of them to block them and get out in your dark suits and sunglasses (they were on their way to a church meeting).

Oh for the good old days. The reality is that we can’t stand up for anything anymore. Oh how I long for days like that. Sometimes now when people say, “Why are you so violent Allison?” I really want to tell them to go kiss my big white Lincoln, and then I think “I guess I come by this naturally”.

Shakespear at Mines

Yeah that doesn't sound like an odd combination. But, this weekend we ran over to Denver to see Emily in Shakespeare's Inferno. To tell the truth if there is anything I like reading less than Shakespeare...it's Dante. Oh well, Emily was a witch and she played a sarcastic, annoyed one...I wonder who she modeled that after...

Here's a couple pics

What is Wrong With Me??

I’ve had a lot of people ask me about my children’s sense of humor. It isn’t exactly like mine and neither is my husbands’. In case you aren’t aware – I’m a little bit sarcastic and say things off the cuff that in retrospect probably weren’t appropriate. For instance – the other night Scott was over working on Allie and Jason’s house and Nancy was standing there talking to us. She asked me about something and why didn’t Emily find it funny, and I said, “Well, Emily has a lot of her Dad in her, and Scott has probably influenced her too”. I don’t know what makes me say things like that, Scott just gave me a dirty look, at least he’s used to it.

Thanks Sweetcheeks

I don’t know how many other people have noticed this, but lately it is really bothering me. It seems about half the time now when I either go through a check out lane at a store or a drive through at a fast food restaurant the sales clerk says, “Thanks hun” or “Ok hun, pull around it will be $5.35”. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure I am far more professional than the $10 an hour clerk at McDonalds or the 30 something check out girl at City Market. I have had older people and younger people say this to me and it pisses me off every time. They don’t know me and I don’t know them. SO I have decided that from now on every time I hear a clerk say this to me, I’m going to reply “Thanks Sweetcheeks” and see how they like them apples!

 

They will probably spit on my hamburger