In A Moment

I needed to go into Wal-Mart the other morning before work. So I was standing in the check out line at 7 am when I looked behind me, there standing in the line was a young woman that I had gotten to know a couple years ago. When I first met her she was a vivacious young woman, so incredibly sweet and full of kindness. I know she came from some difficult circumstances, but she had a large family and a lot of support.

I haven't seen her for a couple years, but as I looked at her standing in that check out line I could see in one moment where she had been, what had become of her, and probably what her future held. She was standing in the checkout line of Wal-Mart at 7am, purchasing a box of diapers, a package of baby wipes and had a thug looking young man standing behind her. She looked beaten, worn down and hollow. The young man she was with looked smug.

My heart ached in that moment. Such a lovely young lady, and now a series of choices has led her down this path. I don't know if there is anything that I could have done but still I was so sad for her, her child, and even the mislead young man behind her.

It’s Christmas Time!!!

Last year I did a series of blogs on Christmas memories, and this year, I have barely been able to get the Internet to let me on, let alone blog!! Such is the life on the edge of nowhere. This year I have seriously scaled back my Christmas activities and have to say I am more in the spirit than ever.  Yes, I did get all nine Christmas Trees and 32 nativities set in my house, but no, I didn’t get any outside decorations up (thanks to an incredible cold snap and about 8 inches of snow in the week right after Thanksgiving). No I didn’t get 10 different kinds of cookies baked for co-workers and friends, I only got a handful of Christmas cards mailed out, some as late as yesterday, no I didn’t get special little gifts for bus drivers and teachers, I finished my shopping about 10 days ago and have had little motivation to get out to the mall since. My house is a disaster and the only activity that I am hosting is a cookie-decorating day for the kids on Monday. Traditional Christmas Eve will be at Aunt Donna & Uncle Rod’s house this year, and Christmas Dinner will consist of a whole 9 of us if my brother in law isn’t called to work.

Yep, I am loving the Christmas spirit this year, and while I haven’t accomplished a whole lot, I’m feeling pretty good about it.

So LIGHTEN UP EVERYONE AND HAVE AN AWESOME
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

Sister Wives vs. Breaking Faith

The other day a co-worker asked me about FLDS vs. LDS. The other LDS guy at work (a returned missionary) was quite content to sit back and allow me a 15-minute dissertation about the plural marriage history and subsequent FLDS situation.  Afterwards he did tell me that I had gone into way more detail than he ever would have….

Anyway, I come from pligs so while I can’t ever imagine being in a plural marriage I don’t harbor ill feelings for my ancestors that practiced it. That being said, I am also the child of a woman and family from Southern Utah, and was well aware of Short Creek and the Polygamous groups well before they became all the rage on cable TV. To me the stories around polygamous groups have always been sinister and it seems a very dark culture. My mother used to talk about some plig girls that came to Kanab and had a good time one weekend and mysteriously drowned shortly thereafter out at “the crick”. My Grandma Smirl would tease that we could go to Short Creek and find me a husband, and I remember driving around with her down there and seeing the children playing in the dirt, with their long dresses and braids. Now when I go visit my niece in St. George, plig watching is a pleasant way to pass the time at Wal-Mart, but trust me there was no appeal to my mind now or ever. 

So now we have the cable channels that want to glorify the polygamous groups as “just another religious group”. Most people can’t tell you the difference between LDS and FLDS thanks in large part to the idiot camera crews that like to feed the ignorant image of Mormons as backward provincials. Truth is told I have watched about 10 minutes of Sister Wives and was disgusted. I believe that culture is evil and if you want to read any books by Caroline Jessup or Irene Spencer I think you will get a much more accurate portrayal of polygamy. 

So when my co-worker brought up the newest polygamy show “Breaking Faith” I’ll admit that I was curious. I watched about half a show and was glad that they are showing a bit of the underbelly of those people.  For a long time people in Southern Utah have known what that group is capable of and I hope that people start showing a little bit of concern for those people that are trapped in the culture.  To say that they are brainwashed is an understatement.  These women are absolutely programmed from the time that they are born.  Is there a cure? I hope so, after all in the 1950’s the government had a chance to clean out that nasty little pocket of disgusting cult mania, they threw all the men in prison and sent the women to Phoenix, but because of the social outcry the government released all the men and allowed the families back.

I don’t know how that pocket of iniquity will ever be cleaned out, but I do know that supporting crap like Sister Wives certainly isn’t going to help. So if “Breaking Faith” starts people realizing the human trafficking that is going on in Southern Utah, then I am all for it and I will happily explain the difference to anyone that wants to know about LDS vs. FLDS.

Primary

So I’m in the Primary right now, which I really like, because some of the kids in Primary actually appreciate my humor and that’s fun. But I was thinking back to my Sundays as a kid and was fortunate enough that while I was in Primary it was held during the week, specifically on Wednesday. Sunday morning was actually Sunday School for all of us, and that meant upstairs in the old Gunnison Avenue building. In the upstairs of that old building we actually had a Sunday School room that had benches, a pulpit and a sacrament table that the Priests Quorum actually came up and blessed and passed the sacrament each week. It was the days of 2 ½ minute talks and seemed even to my young mind a whole lot more reverent than today’s children. 

Now I will admit that when it comes to promoting reverence I perhaps am not the best example. But in my current position, I have been thinking about reverence a lot lately.  I have come to conclusion that the biggest culprit to current reverence issues is actually not the children’s fault.  Yes, back in the day we had benches and I have decided that current stacking chairs in Primary rooms everywhere are to blame for the lack of reverence for children.  Think about how much more peaceful it is when kids can’t whack each other with chairs, move the chairs into each other, and how much calmer kids are when they sit on a bench versus a plastic chair.  Oh how I long for benches in our Primary room, that we don’t have to re-arrange, put up, put down, tell kids to scoot forward or back.  I know that in today’s world we are never going to have benches again, but I can always wish.

Why I Live Where I do….

OK, I live in the house that I grew up in. Kind of weird I know, but when Scott retired, my Mom decided the house was too big and sold it to us. Scott is a good sport, for a lot of reasons. But last Saturday I woke up around 6:30 and looked out the window next to my bed and thought…. what is Diva doing out of the goat pen?  Then my eyes focused a little better and I realized that it wasn’t Diva my goat, it was about 6 does casually strolling in my back yard and helping themselves to my goat hay. I laid there and watched them for about 10 minutes and thought how much I love living right where I do.

Dongel

About three weeks ago, my husband woke up one morning and discovered he had lost his dongel. We looked for it everywhere but to no avail. I asked his where he had last used it and he said our bedroom. I quizzed him if he had used it somewhere else and he assured me he hadn't. I thought maybe it had fallen out of his pants somewhere so we back-tracked every place looking for it. I accused him of losing it at work, he claimed I must have done something with it. Apparently HIS dongel was my responsibility, he eyed me suspiciously and I think harbored a secret opinion that I had mistakenly put it someplace. It was really starting to be a problem, he was having trouble concentrating at work, he was worried about it. Finally he just got it replaced, because they can do that in extreme circumstances.

Then yesterday, while looking a fuzzy  pair of socks I found it hidden in the bottom of one of my sock bins. Apparently it had fallen down in them that night. While he has already replaced it, it's good to at least have found the old one.

By the way...a dongel is a computer key that allows licensed access to Microsoft switches and software. Why-what did you think it was??

Snow Day

Wednesday morning we awoke to a lovely 5-6 inches of fresh snow gracefully laid over a nice coating of ice.  My husband grew up in upstate New York so he had snow days on a regular basis. I had exactly 1 snow day in all 13 years of my public schooling. My children however, in this over safety conscious world have had snow days about once a year. So I woke up nice and early on Wednesday morning, checked the news and sure enough...snow day for District 51. I went upstairs to inform my 14 year old son.

Now, not everyone can have 14 year old like mine, nor can everyone be such an awesome mother like me.

So anyway, I went up, woke him up and told him he had a snow day.
"Are serious? Are you messing with me?"
I assured him that it was indeed a snow day. He laid back on his pillow, and said "Oh good, I needed to get some laundry done."

Yup, that was our snow day!

Catching Up on November Gratitude Posts

Yeah...I know. It's past November and I didn't get all my gratitude in. Well, I live in the real world, have a real job and live in a place where the internet during the winter months is iffy at best.

November 27th - Grateful for petroleum based nylon and plastic products

November 28th - Grateful for fabric steamer, this has seriously improved both my life, anxiety levels and my families appearance. (Unlike my sister who I swear irons 30 pillowcases every day)

November 29th - Interstate highway system. Anyone who reads about travel before the Eisenhower administrations decision to link the states knows what an absolute blessing this is, even when snow packed and stuck on it for 8 hours (Shout out to my Andrus nephews)

November 30th - So grateful for Facebook and the oversharing of family, friends and a few circus freaks that let me know how everything in their lives are so much better than mine!!

Catch Up

Ok, I've been busy, but don't worry the voices have been vying for various gratitude options so here is the most recent list:

Septic systems - seriously an amazing achievement, not to mention an unsung hero when everything is working great. So easily overlooked, be grateful.

Antibiotics - so incredibly glad I didn't live 100 years ago. Can you imagine worrying over every fever and pus  weeping sore?

Aluminum Sulfate - the charge of this wonderful chemical makes my life so much easier. I am so grateful that I don't have to use ferric chloride because that stuff is nasty.

Chlorox wipes - if it weren't for this wonderful idea my house would be even dirtier than it is. I'll admit that the perfect housekeeper I am not, but thanks to these wonderful disposable wipes  - everything is just a little bit better.

I think that catches me up

November 22, Voices

I have voices in my head, and I am glad. They keep me company in long hours of laboratory work and driving that I do. I must admit though, that not all of their ideas were sound, but some have been pretty fun.

November 21, Steel Belted Radials

I am grateful for steel belted radials that allow me to travel in comfort and ease, and that I don't have to travel around with retreads. I am also grateful that they no longer make retreads.

November 20, twine

So today I am super grateful and feel extremely blessed to have twine in my life. To me twine is more than just a tie down for a large purchase from Home Depot, yes oh so much more! You see I am old enough to remember wire tied bales, which truly weighed 800lbs. I also remember the great bailing wire shortage during the Carter Administration, which forced my family away from our beloved wire tying ways. A new baler was purchased and we began to make adjustments.

In the beginning I'll admit I wasn't happy with this new "progressiveness". Wire bales packed tighter, stacked neater, didn't slip their wires, and of course- bailing wire was the original "duct tape fix". But, as time has marched on and I have become wiser and certainly more "mature" (that's a fancy way of saying I can now only shoulder one 50# bag of feed, I used to be able to handle two). Anyway I have learned to accept the lighter bales, learned the art of fixing things with orange twine, and discovered its flammability. And the one true plus for my husband is there is no wire to get wrapped around his beloved riding lawn mower which occasionally has led him to question his choice of eternal companions.

#gratefulfortwine #makeslifegreat #soblessed

November 19, Toilet Paper

Please do not get today's post confused with my earlier month of gratitude post about Kleenex. Toilet paper and Kleenex are very different, and while in a pinch can be substituted for each other, this should never be a long term solution.

Who hasn't sat down, got comfortable to take care of things and suddenly realized you had chosen poorly in your pick of the stalls? Your next thought is then "what the hell? Doesn't anyone ever check these things? There is a stupid checklist on the door for Pete's sake!" at that point you are willing to do a lot of things, just for a few squares of toilet paper. And so I'll send this gratitude post out into the world of "carma" or whatever in hopes that the "toilet paper pixies" will make sure my stalls are full as I begin the Holiday Shopping Season.

November 18, Little People

Today I’m glad that little people think they are important. No I don’t mean little as in small in stature, I mean little people the way that Clark Griswolds boss meant it in Christmas Vacation. This morning I was putting my niece Kassandra on the bus, and I haven’t done that this year. Apparently there is a new bus driver a.k.a. a new “sherrif” in town.

When he came down the steps to help get her walker he said, “Who are you?” No, hello, no how are you. I felt like saying, “Oh, just some random stranger out here at 6:20 in the am that happened to see this special needs person waiting for a bus”. Idiot! So I told him I was an aunt that lived across the street and then he said, “Is someone going to be here to get her off?” Again, I felt like saying “Oh, you need someone here when you drop her off? Like the last 14 years?” Instead I simply said, “Yes, we’ll have someone here” Freaking moron…why aren’t you in an OR suite performing brain surgery????

Don’t worry everyone, no doubt he is reproducing at a much faster rate than the people reading this, so we will always have the little people.

November 17, Dumb

FYI This is my 300th post! Man I have a lot to say, imagine if I didn't control myself


Ignorance really is bliss. The other day I might have been a little bored at work, so after surfing my usual haunts I headed over to yahoo. I was amazed to see that I really don't know very much. I have never knowing listened to a Lady Gaga song, not sure I could even pick her out of a line up. I have no idea how many Kardashians there are or what they actually do. In fact the only name I did recognize was Miley Cyrus because my kids used to watch Hannah Montanna, and after reading the headline I realized that we had come a LONG way from that. I don't know that real housewives do, never watched honey whatever and I don't know 80% of the cover stories on the tabloids in the checkout lines. I watch Duck Dynasty, HGTV, a little food porn, Big Bang Theory and a whole lot of news. Since I'm not very well informed the break table is a little boring for me, even though I don't watch Dancing with the Stars and my mother continues to let me know about that and the Bachelor/Bachelorette but I really don't care. I just like being dumb.

November 16, Doors

It's Saturday so I should be doing something. Today I had planned to clean out my basement and go through some of my food storage. But then I realized my basement had a door...so I used it and then I didn't have to clean my basement.

November 15, Blog Police

I'm grateful that there are no blog police, because I honestly haven't had time/energy to remember to blog everyday.

November 14, Grocery Stores

Today I am grateful for grocery stores, eventhough I actually can't stand them. As a result of my not liking grocery stores, I avoid going...so my cupboards get really empty and there is only so much mooching my sister Nancy will put up with.  So the last couple days the cupboards were pretty empty and apparently the point where we are out of both ramen and frozen pizzas is critical mass. Last night I braced myself and went shopping, this usually involves me wandering around the store and coming home with exactly half the ingredients for any dish. Last night though, I must have done really good, or the males in my house were really starving, because putting the groceries away was like Christmas morning. They were so excited for popcorn, ramen noodles, and some ice cream it kind of made me feel bad. But, today I'm grateful for grocery stores - mostly because I rarely have to go in them.

November 13, Road Signs

Today I am totally grateful for all the road signs I have used in my life. Without them, I would have been lost more times than I care to think about. Yes, road signs have given me direction and piece of mind for many years, and I think they are definitely the unsung hero’s of the highway. What more is there to say? Who hasn’t been blessed by road signs, everyone should take a minute and observe some gratitude for the multitude of information they have provided.

November 12, Pesticides

Whomever developed them was a genius. Now I know in this organic pure world that we live in, pesticides rank right up there in public opinion with the Klu Klux Klan. But, before you think of all the “evil” chemical companies who are conspiring to kill you I would like you to take a minute and think of all the good pesticides have done for mankind. They have eliminated things like malaria from whole continents, increased yields for crop productions and helped feed an incredibly growing global population. The next time they give a report of West Nile cases, and everyone is up in arms grabbing cans of Off, remember that is a pesticide as well.

The other day on FB someone posted something about a baby food that was supposed to be from the brand of ultimate pure, earth care, whole food, dye free, sugar free, lactose free, gluten free what ever. Anyway, they claimed that in their beloved uber baby food puree was some bug larvae and were completely upset about the level of quality control. I thought, Hell Yeah!!! First of all that’s what you get without pesticides, bugs! And besides I thought all you whole food loving, organic, tree hugging, no perfume or artificial flavors people loved bugs, cause that’s what Mother Nature is made of …stinking morons, I hope you eat more bug larvae, and pay extra for it.

Time Out

I’m taking a time out on my sarcastic November gratitude blog to give a shout out for my sister Ellen’s birthday. She would have been 51 today and I miss her so much. We miss her on this side of the veil, but realize how much she suffered from a miserable disease on this side. I hope she is totally enjoying all her relatives on the other side, having a blast and feels great.

OK the other time out is about Veteran's Day. The last few years it has become the fashionable thing for anyone that learns that Scott is a veteran to automatically say, "Thank you for your service". Now my husband spent this honorable day in his garage doing just what he wanted to do. But, he gets pretty annoyed by this automatic response. To begin with, everyone currently serving in the military or that has joined in the last 40+ years signed up voluntarily...they weren't drafted and they went in knowing that they would get a paycheck and benefits. No one in the armed services is there for free. The military veteran "society" is also famous for a lot of liars, not everyone that served was in the Rangers, or the Seals, or Green Beret's. They weren't all 101st or in active combat. But unless you have an awesome security clearance you will never know the difference. There are a lot of typists, cooks, mechanics, electricians, and desk jockeys that keep the military running.

Plus, in the military life style not everyone is a flag waving patriot, I know this because remember, we were in for a long time. There were good squadrons and bad squadrons, good CO's and bad, good years and bad. And just because someone has a DD214 doesn't necessarily make them a hero. There are good guys and bad, at BTW did you know that Los Angeles gangs have infiltrated every branch of the service? Look, my husband carried a gun, he has been in a lot of places and done a lot of things he can't say. Then he cross trained and spent time fixing computers and aircraft. we are grateful for the benefits and the retirement check. But if you want to thank him for his service, mean it. It's not just a catch phrase.

November 11, 2013

Hair Gel. Today’s gratitude goes out to all those wonderful polymers that comprise a substance that is capable of giving both my sister and I spikes that last all day. Without that amazing conglomeration we would both have super boring hair. So for that, today’s gratitude definitely goes out for some serious hair gel.

November 10th

Today I was grateful for 12:00pm. Yes, that magical end of church which meant that this year’s Sacrament Meeting Primary Program was over and my sharing time for this week was too. Mostly I was grateful that during the program no one ran crying off the stage…ok mostly me. I was so happy to see that clock hit 12 that I could have cried. Instead, I went home and took a nap.

November 9th - FIRE

FIRE!!! I love fire, I like to set things on fire, I like to watch things burn, I like to back up to a fire to get warm…oh yeah, I like fire. Seriously, I have loved fire since I was a little girl and I am so thankful that Heavenly Father made this fascinating phenomena which has entertained me for hours of my life. Not to mention all the times it has helped me clean up an area, like it did today. Today I needed to burn a bunch of tramped down hay that the goats didn’t eat and a lot of Elm tree branches that they had stripped this summer. Thanks to some gasoline and a couple matches I had a super smoky fire for hours. Plus I discovered that Lola the Pig loves fire to, she went right up to the fire and stuck her nose in it, then she followed the smoke around sniffing it. I probably will end up with the only pig with emphysema. There is just something wonderfully hypnotic about watching a fire burn, so today’s gratitude post is for fire.

November 8, Eight Cows

Today I am grateful that I was an eight cow wife. Yes, it’s true, many probably don’t realize that. (BTW if you are not familiar with the eight cow wife story you should probably google it) Anyway, my husband claims I was worth even more than that, but really how many cows can an Air Force guy come up with?  So I feel bad for all those 4 or 5 cow wives out there, but it is really nice to be an eight cow wife. Many people in my village (aka ward) probably didn’t believe I was worth that, or they probably thought my Dad would have to pay a couple cows to get someone to take me as a wife.  But rest assured my husband paid eight cows and would have gladly paid more.

November....uhm what ever day it is...

OK, today I am grateful for calendars. Thanks to a sinus infection, codeine, cold medicine and a few other supplemental pharmaceutical formulations I do not even remember what day it is. However,  my phone has a calendar and given a little time I'm pretty sure I could figure out what day it is. Thanks to calendars I never have to remember what months have 30 or 31 days, that just seems like a waste of time and brain space. Especially today, as it is all I can do to remember where I am and what my name is.

November 6 - Protection

Today I am grateful that the obviously planned zombie attack on my home early this morning was thwarted by Frank, Tina, and Daisy. Apparently the three to four hours of un-interrupted barking in my back yard kept the evil monsters at bay. Were it not for their “dogged” determination my family and I could right now, be counted among the un-dead. Yes I am truly grateful for that safety net. After all, the sacrifice of several hours of sleep in the early morning is nothing compared to the willingness of those three to place themselves in the way of danger. Of course I give them the benefit of the doubt that what ever was out there that required the tag-team bark fest was something so hideous and dangerous that they had no other choice than to bark incessantly for that long. So today, I am grateful for the selflessness of those wonderful ranch dogs, whom I am sure would never spend three hours barking at something so innocuous as leaves blowing in the wind.

November 5 - It was close

Today at work as I pondered what I was grateful for, I must admit there were three things that came to mind. OK, there were actually a lot more...but obviously I spend way to much time titrating samples. Anyway, on the way home I decided what had truly blessed my life today was Scotch Tape. When I think about how in the world people managed to get along prior to the advent of scotch tape I think "What a giant pain in the neck". How did people send packages? Wrap presents? Repair homework? Dollar bills? What a horrible world that would have been.

In the interest of my gratitude I did a little homework (OK, I Googled it) and discovered that transparent adhesive tape was invented by a 3M Engineer back in the 1930's. He test marketed it to a  packaging company in Chicago that said "Put this on the market immediately!" and I am so glad they listened. Just today as I was sending Emily some cookies that I think I baked this morning I was so grateful for the scotch tape that securely sealed that package!

November Gratitude Posts

This month I noticed on FB that everyone is posting the "Gratitude Challenge" where each day they post what they are grateful for. Now, pretty much everyone knows that I'm a little bit of an emotionally challenged person. But I thought that I would post on my blog about things that I am truly grateful for. I've had a little trouble getting on my blog so I need to make up a couple days, so here we go:

November 1, 2013
Poly Vinyl Chloride - Yes! I am truly grateful for poly vinyl chloride, that unsung hero of our household plumbing. But, the invention of poly vinyl chloride has blessed us for more than just marshmallow guns and quilt racks. I love PVC for it's amazing versatility, it's ease of use and the uniformity of all the parts. Whether it's schedule 40 or schedule 60, I love it and love using it.

November 2, 2013
Kleenex, I would like the world to know how grateful I am for that beloved box of tissues that everyone takes for granted. You see Kleenex and I have been together for ever. Kleenex has been there for me in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. During all the critical moments in my life, all the long sacrament meetings, all the drippy nose times that I have needed it, Kleenex has not let me down. Even wadded up in my Mother's purse, Kleenex has always been there.

November 3, 2013
Today I was grateful for vacuum cleaners. I can't imagine taking a rug out and beating the crap out of it on a regular basis. Although if I was required to do that I would probably work out a lot of frustration. Vacuum cleaners make our world so much cleaner and easier. Who doesn't love a great vacuum?

November 4, 2013
(This should catch me up) I am grateful for pipet washers today. This wonderful invention allows me to use dozens of pipets and place them in the wash, run them to the tap and be done. If I didn't have a pipet washer I would spend hours sucking soapy water up and then attempting to rinse these tiny little glass pipets. I can't imagine lab work without them. For an illustration, please see picture below:

You Really Can't Take Us Anywhere

This Saturday I had a little dilemma, my alma mater Colorado Mesa University (aka Mesa College or Mesa State College) was playing a football game against Emily’s Colorado School of Mines, so I had a little trouble figuring out whom I wanted to cheer for. But it was an incredible Saturday, and since the game was at 1:00, I’m had to go watch. The truth of the matter is that although I went to Mesa, I never went to a football game while I was there, and haven’t been to a Mesa football game since I was a little girl because...

The Mesa vs. Dixie Football Game

Once upon a time when I was a little girl, my cousin was quarterbacking for the Dixie College Rebels. They came to Grand Junction to play Mesa and my entire family loaded up and headed in to watch the big game. Since we were obviously cheering for Dixie we sat on the west side stands at Stocker Stadium, which back then had old school wooden bleachers. There weren’t many fans for Dixie and after the game got started a group of significantly intoxicated drunks came and sat behind us on the bleachers.  They of course were booing Dixie and then they started swearing loudly every time Mesa made a mistake. My Dad finally had enough, stood up, went back and informed the drunks that he had come here with his wife and family to enjoy a football game and that he didn’t want to hear them swear again. At first the drunks were a little belligerent…until they saw all my Uncles standing on the bleachers looking back at them. Shortly after that I remember Mesa making another mistake and hearing the drunks behind us loudly say, “OH SHOOT!” my Dad turned around and gave them a thumbs up.

It turns out that my Dad wasn’t really safe to take to a lot of places.

Once, while sitting in the car outside the Orchard Mesa Market with Uncle Rodney, I innocently remarked about a boy starting up the sidewalk that had been harassing me at school. Daddy nonchalantly placed the car in drive coasted forward a little and ended up pinning the poor 4^th grader against the side of the building and lecturing him a little.

Then there was that summer when the Hell’s Angels rented the duplex at the ranch next to ours, it was the same summer my Dad put a gun rack in his back window and proudly displayed his 0.30/0.30. We never did have any trouble from those bikers.

Another time we were enjoying the spectacle of the Fruita fireworks when we heard a scuffle, wondered what it was only to have that question answered when we heard my Dad roar, “I haven’t hit you, YET!.” Turns out a drunk was picking on his girlfriend and my Dad decided he wasn’t going to let him. Daddy never did hit him, but he did tweak the guys’ nose to get his attention. We never got to go back to the Fruita fireworks…

It was a different time of course, now you get the cops called on you when you show the guy that just flipped you the middle finger the handgun you kept in the glove box (ok, it’s not like he actually pointed it at him, he just showed it to him). Or if you chase down a little sports car that the passenger flipped you off in and turn your big crew cab sideways on the road ahead of them to block them and get out in your dark suits and sunglasses (they were on their way to a church meeting).

Oh for the good old days. The reality is that we can’t stand up for anything anymore. Oh how I long for days like that. Sometimes now when people say, “Why are you so violent Allison?” I really want to tell them to go kiss my big white Lincoln, and then I think “I guess I come by this naturally”.

Shakespear at Mines

Yeah that doesn't sound like an odd combination. But, this weekend we ran over to Denver to see Emily in Shakespeare's Inferno. To tell the truth if there is anything I like reading less than Shakespeare...it's Dante. Oh well, Emily was a witch and she played a sarcastic, annoyed one...I wonder who she modeled that after...

Here's a couple pics

What is Wrong With Me??

I’ve had a lot of people ask me about my children’s sense of humor. It isn’t exactly like mine and neither is my husbands’. In case you aren’t aware – I’m a little bit sarcastic and say things off the cuff that in retrospect probably weren’t appropriate. For instance – the other night Scott was over working on Allie and Jason’s house and Nancy was standing there talking to us. She asked me about something and why didn’t Emily find it funny, and I said, “Well, Emily has a lot of her Dad in her, and Scott has probably influenced her too”. I don’t know what makes me say things like that, Scott just gave me a dirty look, at least he’s used to it.

Thanks Sweetcheeks

I don’t know how many other people have noticed this, but lately it is really bothering me. It seems about half the time now when I either go through a check out lane at a store or a drive through at a fast food restaurant the sales clerk says, “Thanks hun” or “Ok hun, pull around it will be $5.35”. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure I am far more professional than the $10 an hour clerk at McDonalds or the 30 something check out girl at City Market. I have had older people and younger people say this to me and it pisses me off every time. They don’t know me and I don’t know them. SO I have decided that from now on every time I hear a clerk say this to me, I’m going to reply “Thanks Sweetcheeks” and see how they like them apples!

 

They will probably spit on my hamburger

The Great Cricket Battle

I don't like bugs...I never took entomology because I really don't like. I took herpetology, because I don't mind lizards and I tolerate snakes (as long as I don't have to hold them). But exoskeletons and six legs are just wrong. For some reason this is a cricket year. Move a bale of hay...crickets, move anything outside - crickets, walk in my basement - crickets. They are everywhere, it's like a sea of moving black creepiness. The chickens are trained, they follow me around waiting for me to move barrels, bales, feeders or rocks so they can pounce. But there are just to many, they rotate shifts to keep us awake, and despite my vacuum efforts I think they may over run us before the first freeze. Or I may have to move.

Joys of the Job

One of the many joys about my job is "Customer Complaints". That means that all my wonderful customers have the chance to come in when they go to pay their late payments (keeping their water from being turned off) and if by chance they whine about the water, I get a lovely piece of paper to call and go out "because their water smells funny" or my favorite "there is this stuff that grows under the rim of my toilet" so not kidding.

I hate people

 Last week was no exception, I got a frantic phone call from one of the ladies in the front office about an irate customer who had come in with a cup of yellow water. He screamed at her in the office, went home and ten minutes later called on the phone demanding a supervisor. When I got the phone number about 15 minutes later, he told me that he had turned on his outside hose, some sludgy yellow stuff had come out, then some yellow water and finally these little yellow pieces of stuff. To say he was obnoxious would be to put it mildly. Then I said, "Sir, by chance do you have a water softener?"...silence for about 30 seconds, "yeah, why?" Because the stuff he was describing is classic water softener rupture.  "But that takes salt" he said defensively.  We ended going up there, it would be hard to describe other than to say that yellow water should be the least of those peoples concern.

Which reminds me...I hate people. I know that sounds terrible but the truth of the matter is that I really do. Oh, I like them individually (ok somewhat) but as a whole - nope

By the way people - here's a little tip: The water company is only responsible for the quality of the water they deliver to your meter. What you do after that I don't care!!! I don't care if your hot water tank stinks because you don't use enough hot water to turn it over, I don't care if your in home system hasn't had a filter changed since Clinton was President, I don't care about your water softener, and I really, REALLY REALLY don't care about the mold growing on the underside of the rim of your toilet!!! Not to mention the many times I have stepped over dog poop in the living room, been unable to breath from the smoke, or asked if they could move the week old dishes in the sink so I could take a sample of the "smelly water".

Did I mention that I hate people?

Pumpkin Cookies and a torn up knee (an Emily story)

One thing that was stressed at the orientations for college was that your students really like getting packages in the mail. Well…who doesn’t? Anyway, Emily’s first week at school ended in her birthday, so her first package was birthday presents. The next week I sent her a package of pumpkin chocolate cookies, she got them on a Thursday, and Thursday night around 9 pm I got a call from her RA, “Ok, your daughter is on her way to the ER in an ambulance”.

Now I don’t know about you, but hearing that my little girl is 4 hours away, and heading to an unknown hospital with an unknown situation isn’t exactly conducive to a parent’s piece of mind. So I call the hospital….nope, not there, ambulance is still inbound. Call the girls cell...no answer, at this point I’m wondering if I need to jump in the car and head to Denver. Scott of course, isn’t home-(work-a-holic). Finally…about an hour later I do get hold of her. First of all WHAT HAPPENED??? Emily apparently got her package, sat down to open it, got excited to share her good fortune, jumped off the couch and…POP!!! Apparently, something gave way in her knee. She headed off in an ambulance and was awaiting the results of x-rays. I asked if there was any bones sticking out or blood pouring out – the answer was no. Then I asked if she had a ride home from the hospital, she said she had some friends that had followed her to the hospital, “Say Hi” she told them. Scott and I then heard a couple voices saying “Hey” which I then realized sounded decidedly masculine….hhmmm.

Since then, she was on crutches for about a week, has had a brace on it, and after two weeks it is finally starting to feel a little better, except that she is still having trouble bending it. I have offered to come over and take her to an orthopedist for a second opinion, and that might still need to happen. And when I talked to her earlier this week I told her it was sad that the professional hockey career was probably out…her response, “Mom, I don’t even ice skate or play hockey”. That’s my girl.

Expert

About a month ago while we were getting ready to go somewhere the phone rang and I had the following conversation –


Phone Girl – Hello, my name is (Don’t remember) and I got your name from your friend’s blah and blah.

Me- uhhh…Ok, (thinking to myself that I recognize those names from a couple at church, but calling them friends would be a bit of a stretch)

Phone Girl – Well blah and blah are trying get a $200 discount on a water treatment system in their home, and if they can get four other people take this survey, they can get their gift certificate for their new system.

Me – uhh OK

Phone Girl – All right the first question is do you drink tap water or bottled water?

Me –Bottled

Phone Girl – May I ask if that is for taste or convenience.

Me – It’s actually because my water system has high HAA’s

Phone Girl –uhmmm…ok, so when would be a good time for us to come out and test your water?

Me – What? I thought this was a survey.

Phone Girl- Well, we have to come out and test your water so we can know what kind of system you will need.

Me – Yeah, I don’t think I need a system, can you tell me what an HAA is?

Phone Girl – Oh, I don’t actually test the water, I’m not an expert.

Me – Really? I am

Phone Girl – (little giggle) oh..in what?

Me – In Water!! (what in the world are we talking about?)

Phone Girl – You are?

Me – Yeah, been in the water business for 20 years.

Phone Girl – Ok, so when would you like to schedule a water test.

Me – I don’t think you are listening to me; I work in a water laboratory. I can test my water any day I want, I really don’t need you to come out and do a dropper test and tell me how hard my water is.

Phone Girl – Oh, I don’t test the water I just schedule the technician.

Me – OK, we are not scheduling a “technician” to come out to my home, I thought this was a survey.

Phone Girl – OK, thanks for you time

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY!!!

The tears have finally dried enough that I can get on the lap top and not worry about ruining it….NOT!! Seriously, I haven’t cried since my little girl headed off to the mine.  I'm not sure if that means I'm cold hearted or a really bad parent.

Now, that’s not to say I didn’t have a rough day on Monday. You see one of the many traditions they have is to bring a 10lb rock from where ever you live, and on the day before classes of your freshman year you climb switchbacks for 3 ½ miles to the top of the M hill and deposit your rock. Then when you graduate you go up, select a rock and take it with you. So Emily selected her rock, packed it over there and on Monday, at around 10:30 I texted her and said, “Good luck on your climb”. She texted back “I didn’t go” and that was all. Follow-up  phone calls and texts were ignored and I became a little wiggy about what exactly was going on. A sympathy post on FB garnered some support and some “Leave her alone” posts from my niece!! Well, it turns out, she just overslept.

But typical Emily, the only contact we have had generated by her was a text telling us how boring the orientation about sex, drugs, and alcohol was and asking for a flow chart on how to do her laundry. I’m trying not to be to OCD about it, but she doesn’t even turn 18 until tomorrow.

By the way…HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE ORE DIGGER!!!!

My Bat Story

OK, I admit I had to look through my past posts to see if I had already told this story, yeah…all 246 posted blog entries. Man I like to talk a lot, good thing I know how to type pretty fast.

Anyway, I began thinking back since it is getting close to Labor Day, way back to Hurricane Katrina. Yeah, Hurricane Katrina happened in New Orleans, August 29^th, 2005. I remember it well, not because of my concern for the people of New Orleans, but for what happened to me in the aftermath.

The day Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana my husband got a phone call, because of the situation of residents in New Orleans they needed federal officers to volunteer and go help secure federal facilities in New Orleans. At first I didn’t get it, and then I began to realize that all those lovely federal facilities have lots of expensive equipment in them. Anyway, Scott volunteered and within 36 hours he was out of here on a plane. I talked to him one time, the afternoon after he left. Then I didn’t hear from him again until a week later. It was horrible conditions and he worked 20+ hour days. When he got done, he had to go through decontamination procedures and be tested for diseases for several months after. 
But enough about what he endured…let’s talk about me.

Yeah, that was the week Erik started kindergarten and it wasn’t going very well. Also, my sister and mother left with Jason to go to a triathlon in California (that’s funny, no… none of them were competing, Jason was working security). Anyway, they left Kassandra for Donna and I to take care of on top of my husband being gone and Erik having some serious issues with the new school routine. Did I mention we were in the middle of remodeling our house and I had my bedroom in my dining room?

Anyway, I was a little stressed out, I went in to my bathroom to brush my teeth for the night when out of the corner of my eye I noticed something moving around in my toilet. Needless to say that caught my attention, so I walked over, and there swimming in my toilet bowl was a bat. I’m not proud of what happened next, it was definitely not my finest moment, and I should probably be required to turn in my Biology degree… So I called Donna and this was our conversation:

Donna – Hello

Me – THERE IS A BAT IN MY TOILET

Donna – What?

Me – THERE IS A BAT IN MY TOILET

Donna –What? Are you serious? How did that happen?

Me- THERE IS A BAT IN MY TOILET

Donna – I’ll be right there

I put the lid down (like that would have helped). Donna came over and we stood looking down in the bowl of the toilet and stared at the bat. He was pretty worn out and all wet, struggling against the sides of the bowl. I think one of us suggested that we could flush the toilet, but honestly the thought of that thing in my septic and possibly coming back up was more than I could handle. So I went and got a quart sized fruit jar, and my brave big sister scooped him up in it. We put the lid on and he looked pretty bedraggled. So we got some paper towels and stuffed them down with him, then I showed him to my children. I think Emily was in the bathtub upstairs (she wasn’t very impressed with a winged mouse). Anyway, then I took him outside, nestled the jar in my willow tree and opened the lid. The next morning he was gone.

And that is the story of the bat in my toilet.

A Little Deception

My niece Kassandra describes herself as "one of the special people", and indeed she is. Kassie has Cerbal Palsy, and has both physical and mental challenges. When she was very little the local community used to host Round Houses for parents of special needs children. It was a chance for parents to get away, network, and attend seminars from experts about their children. One of the things they warned the parents about was that while these children are mentally handicapped they are very good at learning to manipulate their parents.

Fast forward about 15 years and it is now Kassandra's senior year of high school. Kassie has a little trouble making it a full week to school. Generally she prefers to take at least one day off during the week, if not a full week. This generally starts the night before her personally scheduled day off, by beginning to cough, sniffle and vehemently declare to her mother that she is sick. She adamantly insists she has a cold (I must admit she sounds very convincing) and that her mother should agree and cancel the school bus. Meanwhile my sister Nancy begins to stew and then simmer. I must admit I would get pretty mad as well if my daughter decided by herself to continually take days off.

And so it was that as of the first two weeks of school, Kassie managed to take a day off in the first week. Meanwhile, on Monday of this week she began her sniffling and coughing. In a momentary stroke of genius, I came up with a little plan...

"Kassie, you know I work in a laboratory, and we have to make sure that people that are coming into the lab aren't sick. So I have this special paper that you put on your tongue and if you are sick it turns a special color and if you aren't...it turns another color. I didn't know you weren't feeling well, but I'll be sure to bring that home tomorrow, that way you'll be able to prove to your Mom when you are sick"

Oh the power...the look she gave me was priceless. The next morning I noticed the school bus coming down the street. Later that day I got a call from Nancy to notify me that my niece was feeling better and wouldn't need the special paper. I have a broad spectrum litmus paper anyway, but just my luck, she really did get a cold this weekend. I've been putting her off on showing her the colors...hopefully my deception can last until May.

Sending my little girl to the mine..

Well, the process has begun. We arrived yesterday at Golden to bring Emily to school. As we got closer to Golden she was pretty nervous or as she put it terrified. A few weeks ago we recieved the news letter that told us our move in day, and how the protocal was for loading and unloading, moving of vehicles, times, check in locations, etc. I assured Emily about the fact that we were coming to an engineering school, and in my OCD way of thinking the most impressive thing about Mines has been their extreme planning of events to the smallest detail. Sure enough, as we approached the school there were huge traffic signs telling the moving in students what street to take, campus officers directing traffic to the "unloading zone". Direction signs all over, the "moving crew" were all wearing specific blue t-shirts, there were girls wearing sandwich boards with a giant ? on them if you had questions. Then we pulled into the loaing zone, Emily was directed up to check in, we pulled up and no less than 5 young men swarmed our truck with big rolling laundry baskets to help. They loaded up the baskets; asked her name and headed up to her dorm. Meanwhile, another young man came over to register her bike and a young woman offered us turkey sandwiches. Getting Emily into her dorm from the truck took - maybe - 10 minutes at most. As we got into her dorm, her bed was set all the way to the top. Her RA came in and asked if we needed anything and we asked how we move the bed down a little, she told Emily to go out and look for the boys with the rubber mallets, within 30 seconds, here came Emily back with a couple boys to move the bed down. Then another RA came in with a flyer for a welcome BBQ for the students at one of the fraternity houses, and said she would walk everyone down there at 5:30. We got her Blaster Card and started to get her settled in, we forgot a few things, so it was off to Wal-mart. Then as we were saying good night to her, she suddenly looked sad and said, "I feel to young". Well...a little late for that!!

Back on the sauce

I pretty freely admit it…I take Ambien. If you have had very many conversations with me or if you are friends with either my niece or me on Facebook, you also know it. Thanks to Jackie’s sharing, everyone knows I get a little wacky after taking it. Also, if you have called me after 8:30 pm and I haven’t made very much sense, you probably figured something was up. I have taken Ambien for years, and I will probably continue to take it. I simply don’t sleep, and when I don’t sleep, I get really mean and very nauseous.


I live in a family of insomniacs, my mother was always awake when I got home from a date, my husband can literally go days without sleep, Erik doesn’t sleep, and Emily never slept as a child, she sleeps in now, but to make up for all the sleep she missed in her childhood she sleeps in Sacrament meeting.

Occasionally I get the wild notion that I am going to go off my little addiction…then after a night of two without sleep, pretty much everyone wants me back on. Even my doctor has asked my why in the world I would want to stop taking something that is working, so - I won't.

Seasons Change

As noted in the previous post, going to the orientation for Emily’s school got me thinking about how I am feeling about my little girl heading out “on her own”. Most of the day focused on re-assuring the parents and how to deal with the changes in the parent/child relationship. On the way home Emily asked me how I was feeling about her heading out. So I told her that if I had wanted a child who was going to remain completely dependent on her parents we really shouldn’t have ever taught her how to walk, or talk, sent her to school…


The truth is I do have a lot of emotions about her going off to school. I am nervous for her, worried for her (and her Dad), and I’m melancholy about her leaving us and the matrix of our family possibly changing forever. But I’m not sending her to the moon (although Mines did feel like another planet). I always knew this time would come, and while I will miss the life we had, I’m excited about the life to come. Emily’s future is out there and she is going to go look for it. If it ends up being 4 years at Mines, awesome! If it ends up moving around…OK! Wasn’t the goal of teaching her, giving her responsibility, letting her make the little choices all part of the master plan that she would eventually be an adult? I’m not saying she is there tomorrow, or that I’m not anticipating frantic phone calls, tears, homesickness, or major mistakes.

This is now; this is where we have progressed to. Will I miss the past? Of course. Do I have regrets? ABSOLUTELY!!! There are so many things I wanted to accomplish with my kids before they started leaving home, so many experiences…but…forward, always forward. That season is fading, it’s not over yet, but change is in the air. So I am grateful for this season and hope I can enjoy the changing world.

Mines Orientation

I checked with Nancy, and Ellen (she still hasn’t responded), about what happened to them when our parents took them to college. It was pretty much the same experience; ok, here we are, unload, hug good-bye, best of luck and then they headed back home. When I look back at my failed attempts at going away to both Snow College and Weber State, I realize that part of it was that I had no idea where anything was, how anything worked, or that I didn’t know any other soul at either of those schools. Another aspect was that I was incredibly homesick and my parents made a huge mistake by giving me a car.

Anyway, to help my daughter, not only with her college choice, but the plans to head out, we have tried to get her to feel very comfortable about her choices. We made Emily do all of her own applications, and then we did the campus visits. The campus visits sealed the deal, but because they had the option we also attended a summer orientation visit that Mines had this Friday. I’ll admit that I had originally planned to just drop her off, do a little shopping, come back and head back over the divide. But then my little miner admitted that she had forgotten her cell phone and her photo ID, so I decided I at least better hang around campus. It turns out that the orientation was for way more than just Emily.

All the other parents were there, and the entire day was planned around both student and parent. Maybe it’s because it’s a college full of engineers, or because Mines has dealt with the unique student body that is attracted to a school that PE doesn’t stand for physical education (its Petroleum Engineering). But, the day was spent going into germanesc detail about everything from the moving in process at the dorm (there is a flow chart on-line) to expectations of professors, to a seminar for the parents entitled “Letting them Grow”. I was amazed not only the detail that they went into explaining, but the resources that are available to students. Maybe, if I had had a college orientation like that I would have felt a little more at home, but I probably would still have found my way home, that’s why Emily isn’t taking a car with her….

Micro Audit

That sounds like it is a little deal, doesn't it? I mean, micro is small right? But my micro audit is tomorrow, and it doesn't feel small at all!!! I have been all alone in my lab (which normally has two analysts) for well over a year now, since my lab mate became my boss.  While I can do microbiology, it isn't my favorite any more. Back in at Weber Basin, I did micro almost exclusively for about 2 years. Anyway, I haven't really done micro here for about 10 years, it was my lab-mates job and when he was on vacation I used the dummy method of micro. But now I have been doing it, along with all my regular chemistries and plant work.

Anyway, the state requires yearly blind audit samples for all my methods (I currently have two micro/bacteriological methods) and then an on-site every other year. Well, normally I haven't worried to much about the on-site for micro, because that was the other analysts forte and I only needed to show up. Not this year, my auditor is a nice guy but I must admit I am a little nervous.  Plus, just in case I'm not stressed enough about it, they have finally hired a new guy for the lab...and guess what?? his first day is...yup, tomorrow!

I like chemistries much better, they are definitely more defined and you know exactly what you are going to get with specific concentrations and analysis.  Micro is as much art as it is science, I never know if my 1:1,000,000 dilution of psuedomonas is going to yield a countable number or if I should have done a 1:10,000,000 dilution.  Not to mention, I had to do my inhibitory residue test this last month...it took me 4 tries to get the right numbers of that nasty enterobactor to grow! Fortunately today though those numbers came back just right...talk about the nick of time.

Ok if you are still reading this, you must be bored!! Even my mother gets a glazed over look when I talk about my job.  All I really want is some sympathy and maybe a few extra prayers, because even though it is scheduled for 9:00 am, my auditor will be rolling up on his BMW motorcycle at 8:10 tomorrow, so I hope I am ready.

Pressure Perfect

Yesterday I was blog surfing. I know! Can you believe I wasn’t productively using my time to solve the world’s problems, worry about the new royal baby, reading my scriptures or calling less active families in our ward? Such a slacker…


Which brings me to today’s rant. I can’t believe all the stupid picture perfect family blogs out there (to be fair, many haven’t been updated for a really long time, which indicates to me that they found their lives boring also). But, I did find quite a few that only chronicled the birthday parties, the momentous mother’s day feelings, pictures of the “most awesome family vaca EVER”, discussions on how awesomely blessed they are to have the most super supportive husband ever, ugh..nauseous! I can only wonder at one of the many causes in this day and age of why families manage to absolutely fall apart with amazing speed.

My niece Allison and I were discussing the “Perfect, everything’s perfect face” that so many people feel the need to put on when at church or school. Why in the world do people insist that everything in their lives look so cookie cutter perfect to strangers or even fellow family members. Why put that incredible pressure on yourselves? Your spouse? Your children? Why put yourself in that glass house? I think that every time I read on a blog or on Facebook about how perfect someone writes that their spouse is, or how wonderful their marriage is…are they trying to convince me? Or themselves?

My mother used to say that couples that loved in public; fight in private and couples that fight in public; love in private. I think the more updated version of that might be: Couples that FB their undying love; fight in private. This was evidenced very clearly at our family reunion this summer, when a member of my family observed a heated scene of a cousin slapping her husband (yeah! You were observed and you really should get some help, because that is completely un-acceptable; and you know who you are!).

Anyway – back to my rant- to all those picture perfect people out there…get over yourself! Have a reality check and deal with your life, because no one, and I mean no one is perfect on this earth today. And for all of you people that are busy making sure your glass house is so shiny…watch out for that rock!!!

A MONTH???!!!!

WOW! Has it really been a month since I have posted?? Holy Cow! I can't believe it, where has the summer gone? Emily came back from Germany, had a great time and wants to go back. We went to a family reunion, had a 4th of July celebration over at my sister Nancy's, started renovating Donna's house next door for Allison and Jason to move out here, started the interview process and hired someone to work in the lab at work with me, and started getting serious about sending Emily off to Mines.

One of the things that makes it hard to believe that it has been a month since I posted is that I am forever writing blogs in my head. Especially while I am driving, I have so many conversations in my head that I want to post here, but by the time I get home from work I either don't have the energy or the time. In retrospect, many times that is a good thing because the blogs I really want to write I would end up having to take off because my Mom would make me.

The other reason I haven't blogged very much is that I haven't exactly felt 100% for a while, not really sure why. I went to my doctor's office and had to see another doctor because mine wasn't in that day, and he immediately informed me that I had West Nile, he was pretty insistent actually. Turns out that I don't, but it doesn't explain some of the symptoms I have been having. It is probably "Not ready to send my daughter off to college, not enough hours in the day for either work or home, trying to get a bunch of things all accomplished at the same time -itis".

That is more that likely it, so I will just have to power through...

In the mean time, here are a few blogs that I did manage to remember composing in my swiss cheese brain...enjoy!

Family Reunion

About two weeks ago I went to an RE Whiting Family reunion. My Aunt Nellie's family was in charge and we had it at a campground just above Beaver. It was a great location and the reunion went really well. I would like to post some pictures, but I forgot my camera. So you will just have to imagine a large number of Whiting family members camping and playing horseshoes and volleyball. This location had the additional bonus of canoes and a lake, even Aunt Lois went for a ride in one.

Once again, my branch of the family managed to lose in the championship round of both volleyball and horseshoes (except for the women's). Volleyball was understandable, after all, we had Jay, Scott, Me, Jackie, and Sam on our team (all over the age 30), and we were playing the much younger generation of my Uncle Lester's grandchildren. We did manage to go three games, but in the end we lost.  Horseshoes received partial credit because my niece Allison managed to win the women's division with my Uncle Jerry's granddaughter-in-law. Men's horseshoes however, have continued to elude my family. There appears to be some sort of curse on my Dad and his progeny concerning horseshoe championships.  Back in the day, my Dad (who was an awesome horseshoe player, of course) always ended up paired against a cousin-in-law named Jack Cooper at the big family reunions. It didn't matter if it was in the beginning brackets or the championships, it didn't matter who they paired with for their partners, my Dad always lost to Jack Cooper. Now that torch has been passed to my brother-in-law and nephew, Jay and Jason. It doesn't matter how many years they go, the teams they end up going against may come and go, but in the end...they just can't quite pull it off. And will this keep us from competing next time? ....no..

Unless you have actually planned a family reunion, you really can't appreciate the amount of work that goes into one. Especially a Whiting Family reunion. We don't just meet in the park one afternoon for a potluck. No, that isn't how it goes. Whiting's require themes, multi-day events, large productions for the Saturday night program, facilities that accommodate both the very ancient (Harriets, Lois, Uncle Jerrys, etc) and young families with no money. Reunions must be centrally located, in the summer and at locations that are not the same temperature as the surface of the sun. They must have a way of raising capital that allows the newer incomes to pay less and the older incomes to "help" without asking them. There must be room for regulation volleyball nets and at least 4 horseshoe pits. To say this is complex is putting it mildly.

Next time it is my family's turn. We are already having planning meetings, projects are being determined, raffle items being made.

But the truth of the matter is that I don't really like family reunions. I'm not all that fond of a lot of my relatives, nor do I have the overwhelming urge to catch up with them. It's OK, I don't think a lot of them actually like me either. But, I'm a Whiting, and over riding the bah hum bug attitude is the tradition gene. So regardless of whether I actually enjoy it, I will do it, and I will do it big. Because that is who I am! (Begin singing the song "Tradition" from Fiddler on The Roof here in your mind).

Take it like a Man

I have been thinking a lot about men in our society lately. Maybe it was because while in an interview for another lab rat recently, a  male applicant randomly said, "I don't have a problem working with women"...uhmmm...that's not a big red flag.

So what's the deal with men? Back in the day we adored a Man's Man. Appreciated his masculinity, now we want "sensitive males" WHAT??? I can assure you that was never on my list of top 5 attributes.

Recently Scott was watching the old MY TV channel that shows  1970's nasty shows, and MASH came on. "I hate MASH I told him, all Alan Alda does is cry. Why can't he take war like a man? Such a stinking coward" Sure enough, half way through the first segment....wahwahwah!

I  blame MASH partially for the neuterification of our current crop of males. Among other things, such as the feminist movement of the 1970's, the welfare program, society's acceptance of single mothers, and not allowing boys to play with guns.

You see, after Alan Alda's portrayal, women embraced the sensitive male as the epitome of a desirable male. Never wondering if they paired with him who would hunt for their meals during the great economic melt down.

Then there is that stupid feminist movement of the 1970's. HELLO!! women are not the same as men, we are not designed the same as men, and while we should be paid the same as men for the same job, we are definitely wired differently. With the feminist movement we managed to convince women that men were really not necessary. The welfare program? With Uncle Sam footing the bill, there really isn't a need for the man's paycheck. Then telling women that is OK to keep babies in a single home? making it totally acceptable makes women value men even less. Then we tell little boys that guns are not to be played with, are dangerous, and we even get mad at them for playing "violent" games at school, this was the final nail in the coffin for masculine men.

Now we have punk boys running around without any role models. They have no idea what being a man really is about, they don't know how to work, they don't know how to open a door, and they sure don't know how to step up.

I know women that have so completely neutered their husbands that the men are unsure when and if they can go to the bathroom. I swear these men are so timid they flinch. Then the women complain, "I just want him to man up." "Why doesn't he take some initiative". Seriously??? Give him back his testicles!!

Things you won't find me doing...

A few months ago I was sitting with a lady at church that has known me since I was born, she appreciates me shoe issues. Anyway, we saw someone wearing flip flops and she said, "If I ever catch you wearing those to church, I'll slap you." So I started thinking about all the things you will (hopefully) never see me doing..

Cheering "Go Cougars"
Ordering a grilled chicken breast
Not wearing nylons to church
Pouting with duck lips, sticking out my butt, taking a picture and posting it on Facebook
Going to Wal-Mart in my slippers
Willingly going to a Leonardo DiCaprio movie (yup, I'm the only one in the world that has never seen Titanic)
Wearing a headband
Attending Country Jam
Advertising Aeropastale across my chest
Bragging on FB about how absolutely awesome my "hubs" is
Not decorating for Christmas
Attempting to grow a garden


And of course, NEVER wearing flip flops to church.

I'm sure there are a lot more things I can think of, I'll be sure to share when I think of them.

NSA

I used to keep a journal, when I was a teenager.  My parents never kept a journal, and other than on Grandpa Whiting’s mission, I don’t think any of my grand parents did either. I admit that I don’t keep a journal now, at all. I just can’t believe that my life is that interesting. So I was excited this week when it was announced that thanks to the NSA and all the data mining that they have been doing on the American people, I don’t need to!! Imagine that in 100 years from now my descendents will only need to get a freedom of information act request and they will be able to know all my emails, text messages, phone contacts, conversations, credit card purchases, travel information, and facebook quotes!!! HAHA…no worries, big brother is looking out for me!! THANKS NSA

Take a Deep Breath...

No, I mean take a really deep breath, the kind you can feel all the way to your toes. How does that feel? To me it feels amazing, because ten years ago I couldn’t do that. So, here is the story of my throat (sounds fascinating doesn’t it!).

About 12 years ago I started having some problems and went to my gynecologist. After the examination he escorted me to his office, told me that I had a large tumor on my right ovary, and we scheduled surgery for two days later. The surgery was a success the 8-pound tumor benign, and everything seemed to be great. As I was groggily coming out of the anesthesia, I do vaguely remember a person in a white lab coat chastising me about something to do with my throat and that is wasn’t his fault. A day or two later I was shown up to the offices of Dr. Trowbridge, an otolaryngologist, or ENT dr. as they are known. Unbeknownst to me, my trachea had a naturally narrow spot just below my vocal cords, while I was being intubated for the surgery; the anesthesiologist forced the tube and scratched my throat. After a CT scan, I was told not to worry about it; it probably wasn’t a big deal. It was called Sub-glottis Stenosis

I went home, recovered from the surgery. Everything seemed to be fine, except for a little nagging cough and being out of breath a little bit. A year later my breathing was pretty tough, but I figured I was pretty heavy and out of shape so that was probably it. Finally, I went to the doctor again. They scoped my throat (a pleasant experience that was destined to become routine) and discovered that scar tissue had seriously formed in my trachea. Dr. Trowbridge explained that he could go in from the inside and clean it out (kind of like roto-roter).

I had my first surgery in July of 2002 for my throat. They had scheduled me to be on a ventilator and in ICU for several days afterward, but I recovered so well that I only ended up staying in there for a day. I figured all was good, Scott retired in August, and I got pregnant right about that time as well.

In October my breathing became difficult again, I went back to Dr. Trowbridge who assured me that after the first tri-mester surgery would be acceptable. I had surgery in late October, but by November my breathing was bad again. It was November that I had surgery again, which was when we discovered that I had miscarried. I made it to the beginning of January, then it was bad again. I went in again, but every time the scar tissue came back, clogging up my trachea even faster than it had the last time. I ended up having my throat routered out 8 times. There were nights when I had so much trouble breathing; I would make Scott take me into the ER because I was afraid that if I fell asleep, I wouldn’t wake up. There were times they said I was breathing through the equivalent of a soda straw.

Everytime I went into the hospital and everywhere that I went in the hospital (like x-ray, or the lab) there was a blue bundle that went with me. At first I didn’t pay very much attention to it. It looked like blue lab towels wrapped with masking tape that I recognized as exposed autoclave tape. When I finally thought to ask about the blue bundle I was told it was a trach kit, in case I suddenly couldn’t breath at all and needed to have a tracheotomy….great.

Finally, Dr. Trowbridge had had enough, the cleaning of my trachea was only lasting about two weeks. He decided that he would try going in from outside, and take about an inch of my trachea out. The surgery was extremely delicate, and required 4 hours of OR time, and a plastic surgeon. It was scheduled for Friday, June 13th, 2003. Not that I was superstitious or anything!! It was the soonest that they could get an OR for that amount of time. The day of the surgery we ended up delaying for about an hour while we waited for Fed-Ex to deliver a specific surgical instrument that he had ordered. But after lots of prayers and fasting the surgery went amazingly well. I woke up in ICU, and after a couple days there and a couple days in telemetry I was able to go home.

I felt pretty good, even took the kids up camping a week or so later. That was a huge mistake. I got a fever and it turned out my incision was infected, so I lay there in the middle of the night; in a tent; a severe fever; a swollen incision that burst; and a flat tire on the truck outside. I didn’t want Scott to know how sick I was, because he had already been through so much, so I waited until the next morning to tell him how bad I was. We got off the mountain, dropped the kids off and headed back into the hospital. Not only was my incision infected but scar tissue had formed on the inside of my trachea again. I was immediately placed in CCU, and then the decision was made that tomorrow they would do a tracheotomy, let my throat heal for a few months and make a decision after that.

I have to say the idea of walking around with a tracheotomy was horrifying to me. I couldn’t even imagine what that was going to be like. And through it all, there sat that blue bundle, staring at me. That night my family and I prayed all night. The next morning my nurse (who also happened to be LDS) came into my room to start prepping me for surgery. I started coughing really bad and suddenly coughed up a huge gob of goo. I used a tissue to wipe it out of my mouth, and realized that I could suddenly breath. I looked at the nurse, she looked at me and we both had the realization that I wasn’t going to need a tracheotomy that day. When I talked to my surgeon, he asked what had happened, after I told him the story, I told him that I had been praying all night, he told me that he had too.

Prayers were answered and I haven’t had any trouble with my throat since that day. It was ten years ago, and I try everyday to take one big breath and thank my Heavenly Father for that ability.

How I Learned to Love Nerds

When I was growing up, I always pictured myself marrying a cowboy, living in a farmhouse somewhere. After all, my vast knowledge of all things country living that I accumulated while growing up shouldn’t go to waste. Seriously…how many people do you know that know how to pull a calf, bottle feed it, dehorn it, brand it, castrate it, feed it out, and get it to the slaughterhouse? I knew and understood Colorado water rights law before I could drive, at the ripe old age of 12. I fully understand the nitrogen depleting properties of alfalfa, and how to rotate replacement heifers into your herd to keep the genetics fresh. I know how to ride a cutting horse and how to bail hay.


So of all the people in the world, it probably came as the biggest shock to me when I ended up falling in love and agreeing to marry a computer guy in the US Air Force. To say we had some cultural differences is putting it mildly. I understood football, he played lacrosse. I grew up LDS, he grew up learning how to tend bar at the family reunion. I grew up watching Gun Smoke, he watched The Avengers.

Yes, it took me several years to admit it to myself, and even more years to get him to admit it, but he’s kind of a nerd. Don’t get me wrong; he’s a cool nerd, but still a nerd. When we first got married, he introduced me to Star Trek TNG, not a bad show, and given the other choices on TV in Iceland, I learned to like it. But, I have never gotten the hang of a lot of other nerd choices, in entertainment or activities. Sadly, or maybe not, it has even effected our children. They know how to operate our television/satellite/blue-ray/surround sound – I don’t. They know how to get a lot more out of their laptops than I do; they understand Dr. Who, have a really bizarre sense of humor, they know what all the keys on their TI84 calculator do and a whole lot more.

But, at the end of the day I have come to realize that nerds rule the world. Yes, it’s a sad fact, but all of us rely on everyday items that started in the brain of a nerd. Nerds are not distracted by popularity while growing up, they don’t seem to waste a lot of time at the mall or you know…socializing. They rarely have to worry about too much sun damage or heat stroke. I admit it has taken me a long time, but I have learned to love and accept the pasty white, computer toting, non-socializing nerdiness that makes up my family. So here’s to the nerds I love! You should probably learn to love nerds too, or at least appreciate them; they probably are going to be your boss someday.

...wait a minute....I think I have had this dream before....

About a month ago a counselor in the Bishopric called me in and told me the Lord had another place for me...I asked if it was in Bermuda, turns out is wasn't.  It was in Primary. So I was later sustained as the 1st counselor in Primary. I didn't really think it through...because it turns out that Primary is over cub scouts. Oh yeah, apparently I'm back in the game. I even went to a pack meeting tonight. Time to check those archived files in the back of my brain.

Middle School Mom

Now that we are done with Emily, Scott and I  have officially turned to Erik as our trophy child. He is so lucky to be the complete focus of all our energy, compulsive behaviour, time, and attention.  I hope he appreciates it.

So in that spirit, Scott and I volunteered/were drafted to help with a trip for the Orchard Mesa Middle School Choir and Orchestra.  We left our house around 4:30, climbed on a couple school buses and drove to Denver for a competition. After the competition we took 36 middle school students to Elitches for an afternoon of fun...don't worry, we managed to get 35 home...a passing grade by anyone's standards.

There were two other Mom's and the teacher that went with us, and one of the Mom's was one of those, "I know all the kids and know all the drama about who is going with who, and what she said etc." I am so not one of those Mom's! I didn't understand teenage angst when I was a teenager and I certainly don't understand now.  But I watched this Mom interact with a bunch of the girls on the bus, she knew all their names, had brought snacks just for them, they all knew her, she knew all their business.... It seemed like a lot of work to me. She really liked it, but it beats me as to why.

But, now that Erik is our focus child, I suppose I might have to try something like that...I'll have to think about it for awhile.

On a side note: Our little girl Emily has managed to get out of bed everyday this week and put on fresh pj's!!!

Sunrise...Sunset...Sunrise

Well, we finally got it done, at 9:57 on May 14, 2013 my daughter officially graduated from Grand Junction High School and became....



 

..uuuhhhmm, a graduate.

 

When I took this picture, high school wasn't even on the horizon, not even a thought.

 By the time elementary school was in full swing, it still seemed really far away.

 

Then, at the 5th grade program at the end of the year, the kids all came out wearing these t-shirts and it hit me really hard.

I had never even calculated the year she would graduate, and there she was all ready to go.

 

Middle school seemed to fly for me, (probably not for Emily, since she hated it). Before we knew it she was graduating at the top of her class from middle school.

 Four long, and at the same time, not so long years later, she was all done with high school.

AMAZING!!!

Over her high school years she performed over 250 hours of community service, was a member of the National Honors Society, received 3 academic letters with gold star (missed the fourth year only because she had seminary and was aiding for a class and wasn't considered a full time student), had received an outstanding science award her junior year, The Ronald Reagen Leadership Award her senior her, had belonged to the knitting club, the art club, the chess club, German club, the math club, the anime club, and even played a year of tennis. She graduated from four years of seminary and was asked to speak in Seminary graduation (which she gave a wonderful talk). Overall, we are pretty proud of our self proclaimed nerd daughter.

One of the very best things to come out of high school was Emily's friend Miss Morgan Ham, what a wonderful young woman and we are so glad these two have had so much fun for the last four years.

 

So we had a little party to celebrate last Saturday, Emily had asked for a Tardis cake, (I didn't know what that was, but Scott filled me in). My niece Allison spent 9 hours making this incredible cake for her.

 

Emily was really excited when she saw the cake, and not only did it look awesome, it tasted even better. Thanks Allison.

 

Sunday night was Baccalaureate, practice on Monday, and then on Tuesday morning....

 

 

 

 



 

Congratulations Emily, we are so incredibly proud of you and so grateful that you are our daughter. The end of one journey and the other is just dawning. In ten days Emily leaves for three weeks in Germany with her exchange family. Then in September, it is off to college.  Emily is a little melancholy about leaving high school, she seemed to just be getting the hang of it. But better things are out there, I don't think anyone should ever believe that their best days were in high school. Life is to marvelous to not simply enjoy every minute.

 

So to the future....