That Didn't Happen

I was engaged once before I met Scott. To say that my family didn't like him would be to put it mildly. He was older, divorced and not the wisest choice. However, I was the fifth daughter, so while my parents let me know they weren't thrilled they still loved me and supported me. I realized that he probably wasn't for me, but circumstances were a little difficult because at about the same time I came to that realization, his mother passed away. Awkward. My parents, unaware of my change of heart and being supportive, took dinner in during that time and met his family for the first time that night. Later, I remember I was watching TV when my Dad came in the room, he leaned one hip up on his pool table and told me he needed to talk to me. My Dad wasn't usually very serious, so this was pretty unusual.

Dad: We took dinner in to *** family tonight.

Me: Yeah, I know that was nice.

Dad: You're going into science right?

Me: Yeah, my major is biology.

Dad: Well, I'm going to put this scientifically so you will understand, if you marry **** your kids will be retarded. There is something really wrong with that family and I think you should know that.

Me: OK, but I can't break up with him right now.

Dad: I know

Well, I didn't marry him and thanks to his stalking ways I ended up going to Iceland and meeting my wonderful husband. Fast forward almost 23 years and the other night I was taking Emily in to an academic awards ceremony...again. On the way in we stopped and got the mail. Lately all my mail is for Emily, colleges seeking her interest, but that day there was a letter from the Society of Women Engineers, Emily wants to go into engineering. She opened the letter (even though it was addressed to her Dad) and found, among other things, a sticker that said

My Engineering Student

Emily all but rolled on the floor boards laughing, "Isn't that awesome? I love it" Then she looked over at my absolutely blank face. "Don't you think that's funny Mom?" I flat out told her I didn't get it. "You know, the square root of any negative is i " OK. When we got to the school she showed it to her Dad, who immediately got it as well. Later I was sitting in the audience watching her get her award and thought back to what my Dad had warned me about so long ago...well, I guess that didn't happen.

Not Enough Time

Harriet and I got to speak in church on Sunday. I was so excited. I love to talk in church and they so rarely ask me. That is because there is so much that I need to tell the people in my ward.... Anyway, for two weeks all I heard from Harriet was how she shouldn't have said yes, that maybe she should go out of town, etc. When we got to church on Sunday, I was scheduled first with Harriet being the concluding speaker. She immediately informed the bishopric that I really should be last because I was going to take up a lot more time. OK, that was fine, I am usually pretty good at stretching it. But the real secret was, I have heard the old woman speak before, and once she gets on a roll there is no stopping her. So sacrament meeting progressed in the usual way, only a little bit of ward business and at 2 minutes to 12 the old woman stood up.  At 12:15 I saw her glance up at the clock and thought, "OK, she's getting ready to wrap it up" nope. At 12:22, she finally sat down, looked up and said, "Oh my word, did I really talk that long?", uhmm yeah. Then we sang a super long intermediate hymn, all the verses, and I was left with about 10 minutes. 10 minutes??? Afterward my husband told me it was my best talk ever, he really liked it, especially because I didn't make any jabs at him...well, duh, I didn't have time...

Best Years of Your Life??

A couple days ago I heard it again, "those were the best days of my life". Really? I have heard this particular statement in reference to a lot of things over the years, high school, mission, college, etc.  Whenever I hear that I immediately feel sorry for that person's spouse and family.  The "best" days? Yep, it's all down hill from here...

Why do people do that? I don't understand. They look back at some halcyon version (yes, I get to use that word because I have actually had halcyon, it was awesome, all the cars on the highway had twins that day), as if nothing currently or in the future will ever measure up. Everyone has good times and bad, but I would never be so bold as to determine that it will never be as good as it once was. 

I hated high school, I was awkward and it was miserable. It didn't help that all the sitcoms in the 80's glorified high school as a great time, it wasn't. You couldn't pay me to go back to that time in my life, even though I still had my Dad and my sister. Now our kids have the Disney channel and half a dozen others that also glorify that time in your life, and trust me, high school never looks like a sitcom.What an unrealistic bar we set for our children.

Then there is the "best two years of your life" comment from people who are referring to their mission. If I were that person's wife I would be so sad...Do you mean to say that the best two years of your life were when you were living with some other guy? Not when we got married? When your children were born? When your grandchildren were born?

The best time in your life should be right now! Even when it stinks, this is the best time, go forward, embrace right now. You owe that to all the people in your life, this is the best time, don't squander today with rose colored glasses looking backwards.

I figured it out..

Hey, I figured out how to allow comments without all that rigamarow!

He's Still Got It

As mentioned in a previous post, my son had a choir concert last week. Yes, he is in choir because 1) He actually does have a pretty good voice and 2) It gets him out of one semester of middle school PE. Don’t feel bad for him, he is the only boy in his particular choir, and I don’t think he minds it…


Anyway, it was a patriotic choir concert to salute America’s veterans, so Scott got a special invitation. The concert was held in the Roper Music Ball Room, which I had never been in, but it turns out it was a great place for a choir concert. They had the American Legion do a flag ceremony (by the way people, you aren’t supposed to be seated until the colors are posted). There were three choirs and each did three patriotic numbers, then all three choirs came together at the end to do a closing number, which included a medley of all five service hymns. Veterans were encouraged to stand when their particular hymn was sung. There were quite a few army, quite a few marine, no coasties, then Air Force, there were only two Airman present, and while I have seen my husband stand to be acknowledged before he usually just stands at attention, then returns to his seat. I don’t know if it was the Air Force hymn or the former marine from our ward who challenged all the other services with a big hurrah, but when the Air Force hymn came up my husband stood and executed a perfect salute. Standing at attention for the entire hymn he made my heart beat just a little faster. Yeah, he’s still got it.

Whose Bright Idea Was This???

I just finished booking my trip for work this week to Toronto. Yes, Toronto in November. Who in the world thinks we need to go to Toronto in NOVEMBER??? I will admit that 120 lbs ago the idea of heading to the frozen north would have sounded heavenly, but since the poundage drop my thermostat has been pretty radically adjusted. I tried to get out of it; I haven’t been to this particular conference for about 4 years, so I guess it’s time. But…TORONTO??? I knew I should have gone last year when it was in Phoenix. Now all I can do is wonder how many coats I can fit into my carry-on.

That Feeling

Does anyone else ever feel that need to go down to the creek and fire off a couple hundred rounds of semi-automatic weaponry? Feel that recoil and smell that ammo....


                           No.....


                                                                       ....just me then.....



                                                                         

                                                                                                   ........never mind

...it's still unfair...

I am approaching (in a couple years) the point when I will have been Allison Dederick as long as I was Allison Whiting. The fact that because I got married I had to change my name still irritates me. For the record I did ask Scott to take my name when we got married...he said no. I am a very traditional person, you know, no white shoes after labor day, the boy should ask the girl out, etc. But this bugs me.

I spent almost 23 years making sure people knew Allison Whiting, only to have that completely disappear in one day. To be fair I don't know if I was making my name famous or infamous, but 23 years of work for virtually nothing. It's just not fair. People who went to school with Scott know that Scott is still Scott Dederick 50 years later, people who went to school with me now have to ask, "What's her married name now?". I guess I could have kept my maiden name, but that's a little to liberal for me, I did attempt to hyphenate when I first started in the water business, but had a friend say, "Seriously Allison, you don't want to be one of those."

There has to be a better solution. In Iceland the last name of a person is their father's first name with son or dottir (depending on their gender) as their last name. So in a single family there can be up to four last names, like Helga Gunnersdottir, Sigurd Anderson. While that is a challenge for genealogy it might be an option.And what about those women who get remarried with children??? Do you keep the maiden name, the name of your children or the name of your new husband? It's confusing and dumb...surprisingly I don't have a solution, and it's a problem I have pondered for many years. At the end of the day...it's still not fair...

Jumping to Conclusions

To say I am  an obsessive compulsive worrier would be to put it mildly. Don't worry I am seeing my health care professional for help. Anyway, my beloved little boy struggles in school, and crazy woman that I am, I live in an anxiety filled world about it most days.

The other day I came home and found a standard sized envelope from Orchard Mesa Middle School, with Mr. Dederick hand written on the outside. Immediately assuming the worst I started ripping open the envelope while simultaneously yelling (alright rather shrilly) "ERIK, what is this envelope for Daddy for?". My son came around the corner with a look like his mother had finally lost it and calmly said, "It's a special invitation to our Patriotic Choir Concert for Dad, since he served in the military."

Oh....that's just what I was thinking it was...