Rules to Live By

Well, I haven't been shy about announcing to everyone that Scott and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. After all I think that's a pretty impressive achievement considering he asked me to marry him a week after our first date... and I accepted. To say that we haven't had our share of challenges would be a lie, but, the further we go, the better it seems to get. I love being married and we still have so much fun it's hard to believe that there are people who don't like being married. Scott is my best friend, and while there are occasional rough patches, they are certainly getting fewer and fewer as time goes by.

Now, I certainly don't have all the answers to doing anything (no...I really don't), but Scott and I have developed a few rules over the years, and I thought I would share them with you.

1) When we got married a Great Uncle told Scott to never leave the house, without a kiss goodbye. Yeah, we still do that.

2) That same Great Uncle also told us to never go to bed angry...that's crap. If you want one of us to get really mean, and then meaner, and then flat out of control, keep us staying up late rehashing the problem. We tried this approach early in our marriage, it wasn't good. And as previous posts have shown...I'm a reasonable woman! Well..properly rested I am.

3) When we do have an issue we keep it to the topic at hand. When we are arguing about something we don't bring up past events, and we don't use words like "you never" or "you always".

4) No calling each other names, except for nice ones. Labels and names hurt, and you remember them for a long time.

5) We don't say things about each other to anyone else that we wouldn't say directly to each other.

6) No hitting, not ever. Not even when we are playing around and joking. No little swats, pushes, or swipes. Scott was raised in a home where physical violence occasionally reared it's ugly head. When we were first married and I playfully punched him he told me, "little hits lead to big hits and we aren't going to do that, I don't hit you and you don't hit me." He was right, and we don't.

7) We put each other first, always. We tell our kids we love them, but if the entire family was drowning and we could only save one person, it won't be either of them.

Well, there you have it. The rules for my marriage. It works for us, but, if it were foolproof I would bottle it and sell it.